confusionswithcomplicationwithinme

2006-02-05T14:08:00.000+08:00

MOVED!


my new updates - http://cocos-milkshake.blogspot.com

chinese new year is alrights but most of the stuffs i have to pay for myself. the catholic welfare tickets i paid all by myself as i lazy to go around asking people for money. im sick! i so in loved with thursday as i didnt go school that day. went clinic and the no[s] i had was so unlucky. i had to took so long to have my turn. i spent two hours there. can you believe it?!?! -.-
took mc[s] for pe and cca. i was free from physical activities. went around the school with my sister, felicia. and oh my, we gotten participate in the AC this year. how i wish i wont have to.
i really hate to stay back everyday till five. there is no other than cca and math remedials. im so tired to sit in a class for three hours! there is also no difference with other sub[s] remedials. i really hate this. teachers is driving us "a little bit" too hard. i totally have no idea how to spend my weekdays now.
went to my aunt house yesterday. it was rather fun to be with my cousins!
alrights, i shall go do the rest of my homeworks now.

maylene and rachel,
7am at school bustop everyday. =)

tomorrow is the day that we created today.
if we are meant to be, meant to meet, i conceded defeat. come what may.

2006-01-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

i cant online as often as i can do now. shall start studying and score for N. trying to settle myself down for the exams and shall not care any of the past craps. this will not bother me anymore. =))

now, my everyday is so occupied la. im only rather free at night! it seems like everyday i have to study. i getting bored with school actually. somehow, math is getting me vex! my hair is messy every now and then. even now, i have math remedials everyday for three hours! i'll going home late from today onwards. this maybe the reason why i getting tired easily now. my life has totally change different this year! alrights, has to complete my homeworks now.

get me out of this misery, baby.

2006-01-13T18:40:00.000+08:00

11/01/06

my body is aching all over the place now, especially hands. today went collecting newspaper and unused items while others went for office wear or parliment house. all those items made my hands tired and ache all over. frankly speaking, it was fun though and we didnt get tired at all and kept going. it was really not bad though. played hide-and-seek after we did another round check but actually, we didnt complete the round. lol. maylene and me, valerie and rachel. i love to hide but not find. that was silly! =))

went kovan with rachel, sarah and vals. rachel and sarah had to buy office wear for tml. there was one heel and nearly cause sarah broke. and sorry about that cos i chose that heel and forgot to check the price and it cause $30++?! oh my... =((

tomorrow is our office wear day. lets face my alien world! all those catwalk, dining entiquette and whatever have to learn. imaging i doing all that?! how hilarious. i admit im rough, alrights.

the times when i did silly stuffs was the times that i met you and close to me.

12/01/06

had office wear today. felt so uncomfortable when i look at myself in mirror. had blisters all over my toes and just because of my heels. i disfigured my toes and plasters all over! but actually, wearing heels is nice and fun. learned catwalk and had to bear all the blisters pain. sat in the hall most of the day and listen to all the "proper conversation talk", "proper sitting", "how to cope when interview" etc. finally, went to "grassroots" restaurant for lunch. first we had butter bun, salad, chicken soup, two big prawns, half chicken with fries and peas and finally dessert! i so bloated la. rachel made our lunch interesting though. went home and mum called said that she was still outside so i went val hu house. 7+ went home and stuffed myself with food again. it was not bad and different from what i thought actually. bravo. =))

13/01/06

went to parliament house, civic district and river walk. listen to all the history from year 18+ to present. luckily it is not raining or it will have problems yeas. this day made me reconstructed the memories in ltc. while walking, we stopped here and there and finally reach the destination. the parliament was magnificent and grand! oh my. imaging you sat in a place where all the prime minster and etc are?! walked around again to listen to the history of the parliament. walked to the singapore river then. alrights, history again! went for lunch. i ate laksa, rojak and cockles, drank sugarcrane. so do rachel! lol.. we had big appetite. then, visit the URA and now not history, but geography! oh my. know the singapore insideout,outsidein but as if i can remember! -.- went to history museum and watched 3D show. felt rather giddy later when i wore the designated shades. rather boring but alrights la. everything seems rather real yeas. finished the tour, went back school.

all three days fun programmes gone now. next week will have math remedials, cca, fNn coursework and tuition. i can think of nothing but the thoughts of spending my next week. going home straight is healthy and study as well. well, enough of those past craps la.

2006-01-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

tired i am today. really really really very tired, yawning every now and then. mrs cindy soon is our form teacher this year and i still havent even know who will teach me others subs.

went to gave out flyers today as well. we had to manage three blocks but one of it is carpark so cant be bothered about that. from highest level to the ground, climbling the stairs. knocking on people doors, kana scared by owners as they suddenly opened their door and dogs running forward barking all the way, snatching the doorbells to press with maylene, rachel finding for seats and girlfriend still abit hardworking. lol. throughout the whole process, we were very tired and lazy to walk even more. the blocks were creepy too. looks desserted, many of them were out even though it is time for them to wake up! many of them own dogs, many of them moved too meaning that house no people staying at all and some even put security guards and protections. what with all this?! something must be VERY wrong! went ponggol plaza awhile and nothing interesting. went back school.

a talk from ms chow and that made us more sleepy!

tomorrow will be another day. i cant walk properly and feeling aint well. if can, count me out if neccessary.

i hope to spend my tomorrow better.

2005-12-31T19:02:00.000+08:00

school starting soon in 3 days time. i dread going and i not really prepare for N next year though. really spent my this week to the fullest. tomorrow going to aunty house and oh my, my day gotten be a chaos again. ah! have to buy vals birthday present as well. i broke, people!

2005-12-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

saw you cry and walk away, i dont even know what to say
you are the one i cause you to be so miserable, yet you still put a smile infront of me, everytime i think of it, i so unbearable.

why fate has to be such a game? love is with you and run away in the end.
wanted to say i love you yet i keep quiet.

how to heal a heart when it has gone bitter? think of you, hate you is more of a torture.
everyday and night it keep on pestering me, i am calling out in pain!

do you want me, i need to know
can you feel it, let it show
i cant hide deep within myself
everytime i look at you i know.

2005-12-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE TOMORROW!! =))

yesterday class bbq was a blast. went late to school for cca and others were already there settled. did warm ups and all and train together with guys. and hellos, whatever the guys suggested, ivan did as they said. well, whatever.

found out my trackpant went missing and had to find in school. no avail at first but after cca, went around asking those aunties, i managed to find my trackpant! YAY!

back home, changed and packed everything and off to meet vals at hougang mall. besides vals, the rest of the class were there too. hi and hi and more hi! lol. while later, set off to bbq pit nearby. jaclyn and chanel they all bought some more foods there later. prepared everything, ready to bbq! satays was nice. chicken wings thought tasteless cos no seasoning was applied. anyway, whatever we ate, were half edible half raw as we cant really tell the difference. while bbq-ing, suddenly the chicken wings caught fire! we all were panicking and shouting away, " save the chicken! save the chicken!" that was hilarious. finally, chicken wings was save by water. hahaha.. many of us blushed cos we drunk but some managed to control though. almost nine, went home with val hu. that was really a blast, a blast! =))

i laughing as much as i expected. i getting clearer and clearer what am i to you although i not sure whether it is the truth.

2005-12-17T17:23:00.000+08:00

14dec

went out with valeries to town. they were having clothes fever! desperate for t-shirts. spent from morning till evening with them and the results was none of them bought anything. how interesting.

15dec

went out with my family to thanks the gods for the year. dread going out though.

16dec

went out with my parents for hospital checkup. throughout the four times checkup, this is the last as everything went stable in me. i started to think that i have stop growing tall as my height is forever 161cm since last year though. however, my weight increase. went chinatown and saw this dress damn nice but it was rather troublesome to adjust it so forget it then.

17dec

outing with valeries. in case they do not know, i piss off by them. it is not nice to ruin the mood when they happy go outing. congrats to them that they bought their favorite clothes at last. saw this dress damn nice as well and i no need to have trouble adjusting. it looks like i attract by those dresses yeas. reached home, started to vent my anger. thanks my mum for listening to me. i have to think twice before going out with them now.

nowadays easily having moodswings. easily to be provoked as well. anyway, i will be back to normal next few days. tomorrow pulling my mum out to buy clothes with me. oh my, i so excited cos is my mum paying, not me! =D

cant wait for tuesday outing with maylene as well. although going to school but still cant wait to see maylene. hey hellos, it since when i last saw and outing with her???!!! i miss her like thousand thoughts. =))

3 more days!

we all bleed the same way as you do

we all have the same things to go through

2005-12-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

i long didnt update so i shall update today otherwise, maylene will kill me as well.

went to gym and swimming today. our voices and laughters were the loudest in the bus! this man who sat infront of us so pervertic alrights! kept turning behind and looked at us and that turned us off straightaway. did the running. i was so dread at first but this girl infront of me, purposely got off so fast. no choice, i had to. went swimming next! we both felt so embarrassing. we played, swim and suntanned for two hours i supposed. we rather burnt too. went cp and hanged around. later, off we went home. the M&M dance was so adorable!

that all for this update. im tired.

2005-12-05T14:47:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE! IT'S AN INVASION BY MAYLENE!!!!! This girl is like so lazy to update her own blog!!!!! Lol, and it's like rotting. Hahaha.

We'll go out soon okay!!!!! I'm so happy, we had so much fun this year! Now that 2005 is gonna end, lets all change our attitude towards studies alright.

No more fun time till the last day of N levels. Hahaha. I'm happy to have a friend like you, val and rach!

YaY! Jocelyn! you take care alright! Help me to update my blog when you're online! take care girl! love ya lots!

2005-11-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

saw this in someone frenster.

"how to prove that girls are evil" in math form. lols

2005-11-28T10:34:00.000+08:00

i not feeling well nowadays. supposed can go out soon again but due to that, i bet i cant. so since im at home, im up to mischief. that was fun! it started last few weeks. i really love my adorable family! they join in my mischievious actions and stuffs. so hilarious.

sister and brother finding jobs and i at home so free. people, i so bored! last week was fun and i hope this week will be too. =))

lets get this over with.

nothing can change the way it should be.

2005-11-26T17:50:00.000+08:00

241105
watched emily rose with maylene. it was fun though. screaming for nothing as well. not really scary except the expressions and reactions. looking for stuffs and tempting to buy but know what, we broke! how interesting. talking about flying thingys and B&M out of nowhere. maylene was so A alrights. only maylene know what were those. right now, cant wait for chickenlittle and kingkong and hey, there are still somemore interesting movies.

251105
had cca today. reached at 11am to sew the banner. oh wells, girlfriend and me had to sew. i sewed the below part also called tricky part but too bad, as i already stood there earlier. addition, the white people also i painted one, with diana. so fabulous! lol. cca time, so marvellous, only two of us! followed by danielle and valerie hu. i really had fun in cca. first time really. ivan taught us today. can you believe it?! he say im scary! scary in a sense that i with my ball. how irritating alrights. lalala.. met my parents in school as they wanted to buy books but unfortunately, they didnt cos of something invalid. went home alone then.

261105
went gym with maylene early in the morning. still thinking of cuddly on my bed. lots of people so we sat at the comfortable sofas right away. while later, went to do the running. too sweaty and tired. sat at the sofas again and talked. how slacked. maylene asked me some questions and it was really worth to be thinking. did cycle and i bet i kept peddled slower and it gone off thousand times. maylene was so hardworking. lalala.. act only. almost two hours, we went hougang mall. saw atiqa and cherly. how adorable were they. play with toys and came up with silly ideas. tempting to buy lots of stuffs still. more and more!

no more school for next three weeks. how fabulous! gotten spend my day at indoor and ourdoor but who doesnt?? rachel been missing for days and finally she reply me. =)) maylene! more outings alrights?? i had so much fun-ness with you. you A-ness person.

2005-11-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

maylene scream and i will scream or i scream and maylene scream! marvellous... =))

went school for banner and cca. it was fabulous! the banner completed within two hours! fabulous! oh wells, the rain ruined my day. actually can meet valeries on time but raining, had to take bus. on the way, i forgot the yellow paint and brushes and rushed home. the bus was long and i getting impatient yeas. i got drenched from top to toe today.

i miss talking to maylene! it since real long i had last called her. she was hilarious! my family realy getting adorable each day. adorable in a sense that they are really brighten up my day. i love them lar!

catching emily rose soon! YAY! marvellous and fabulous!!

2005-11-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

there is no ways to stay at home in weekdays but weekend! wanna watch the emily rose, chicken little and maybe KINGKONG!! =))

yesterday was fun! the baking course was hilarious, fabulous and MARVELLOUS!! thanks goodness i didnt went for cca or else i miss out all those fun. reached school, met maylene and rachel at school bustop but girlfriend already at basketball court looking at us! oh wells, she just been faster only. she back from hongkong, didnt bought ENORMOUS toys but foods is alrights but she brought only one small almond biscuit for us. how adorable can she be?! at least it was better than nothing anyway. bus came! saw ivan and coach came so i told them i cannot present in cca and i went up to the bus! im so hyper yesterday! im the third to be in the bus! the trip was long and what you expect when we were going harbourfront?! talked alot with michelle, maylene, girlfriend, rachel and mans. reached. smelled the bread scent while we walking. put on the apron and cap. our instructor was mrs goh! he was nice and so did the cakes the chefs made. it was delicious! my group consisted of mans, rachel and girlfriend. we were having fun all the time and disturbed maylene their group. haha.. mrs palani wanna us to ask him fNn questions but we asked him random questions like "where you come from?" haha.. so hilarious!! finally finished everything at six but waited till the APPLE STRUDEL was done. had group pictures and took bus back to school. reached at seven plus and michelle dragged me to wait with her at the bustop so reached home about to be eight. that was the day yesterday. bravo!

i cant wait for monday!! =))

2005-11-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

i been going out practically everyday so i shall stay at home tomorrow to have a feeling of homesick. im getting hyperactive and happy since last few weeks. dont ask me why cos i not sure as well. im not those type that was so sadistic and whatever anymore. try me if you dont believe.

went for school and we got released earlier than we thought. went gym to check our subjects combination and i stick to the subjects i chose last year. i bet ten minutes later, we released.

went macs and met up my sister later on. gym was fun! two plus, back home. totally worn out. maylene was so crappy just now! =))

girlfriend will be back from hongkong tomorrow! bravo.. i miss her like thousand thoughts!

i cant wait for the coming baking course this week!

2005-11-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

i waiting for tomorrow! a day i feel that i grown up. yesterday had my haircut and it is so disgusting. i feel like cutting some parts of my hair again! im a so- called "professional hairdresser". i want to watch THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE!! but in order to watch in together, i still have to wait until girlfriend come back from hongkong next week.

im waiting for coming baking course next week!

stop the anguish by letting my wrongdoings.

i shouldnt have like you in the first place.

ilovemybabyboy, niece! hehehe..

2005-11-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

you are fun-loving. you are always happy and like
to make other people happy. you love to do
whatever you want at the time, and anything you
do is fun... all cuz of you! :)

What is really inside your heart?

i fun loving?? how hilarious..

i been going out practically everyday. just top up my card and now going to finish! how fabulous right?? i going to be blast! i tempting to buy many many stuffs!! =))

2005-11-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

i love this love story from a radio years ago.

"there was this girl who like two guys called ivan and gallen for example and moreover, she was their stead. simple, she was two timer. one day, the guys found that she was two timer, gallen asked her out. she went. when they met, gallen said," between him and me, who do you choose? she remain silent. he continued," i can slash my hand because of you." and once he finished, he took out a knife and slashed. the girl was touched and called ivan," ivan, i think we should break cos gallen can slash his hand because of me, what can you do? she hanged up. on the way home, she was walking happily without noticing a car came crashing on her soon. suddenly, she felt that she fell. when she woke up, she found out she was alright but the person beside her injured badly. this person was ivan. he said," although i cannot slash my hand like gallen but i can die for you in order to save you from danger." he died after then. she cried and realised the person who really love her deeply was ivan, not gallen but she cannot turned back the time again."

i hope you all can understand the meaning of these story. i just couldnt simply explain but i just love this.

2005-11-08T17:41:00.000+08:00

i love that adorable baby with that pretty hazel eyes! moreover, im woman of insanity!!

i miss math so much. tomorrow will be the last day and i so miss it lah. maylene the naughty one! didnt come for math for days because she confirm she going to fail math forever. this is a bad and negative thoughts even though i trying to lie to myself that im positive thinking. no more maths in the morning makes me dread going to cca in afternoon. boohoo...

yesterday, my mum reminded me one of my childhood embarrassment. it is so embarrassing please! it involved so much attention too! i never ever let that happened again forever and ever, amen.

after math, went plaza sing. had mood swing. two problems appeared actually. first, ezline card no $$$. left few cents and you expect me to go where, alrights? anyway, it is sufficient even though i have a negative sum right now. second, i dont really feel like going plaza sing at all but because of the cca banner, i was forced to go. shyan, rachel, valeries and me ate noodles!! we were noodles maddness! jieying came later on. went back school cos we had to. rachel, jieying and me walked from one end to the other in mrt but not valeries and shyan. that was fun! =)) we did that everytime anyway.

cca, only six of us. i looked unclear and new to everything as last lesson, i didnt go for training and i went off early. frankly speaking, i fake all that. lalala.. we kept playing and kicked the table tennis balls everywhere. that was fun though! =))

went rm after that. valeries were so adorable. bought bubbletea and went home! so, home i went.

i been online since i post the first one but because i busy with coversations, i delayed till now. how interesting yeas.

i have found the light in my life and ever since then, nothing could change the way it should be.

2005-11-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

MAYLENE!! STOP BEING A PIG AT HOME!! IT IS SO UNHEALTHY!! BUT ANYWAY.. THE MATH LESSON IS ENDING TOMORROW AND I THINK YOU WILL BE CANT BOTHERED TO COME. BOOHOO.. I SHALL CALL YOU LA SINCE YOU MISS MY VOICE SO MUCH! HAHA.. (-_-''')

2005-11-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

THANK FOR THE DAY DURING MY BIRTHDAY AND THE PEOPLE THAT WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! =))

i find my family is getting adorable each day although i dont really like to go home straight after school. okay.. my brother is having 'O' LEVEL nowadays. i hope he can pass and go to his favorite poly. as for my sister, she is having 'A' LEVEL starting tomorrow. she is now in the library studying. i hope she can also go to her favorite university next year as well. this is the time when they need god to guide them. please bless them to be more forcus!

had math this morning. maylene didnt come to school again! she forever like that. lalala.. practise somehow like 'N' LEVEL the paper one. i need four more marks to get full marks on my algebra mini test! how wasted... =(( class ended at nine. went to rm with michelle and shyan since they dont want to go home. i pulled girlfriend as well. there was one part was so fun! =))
went back school bustop, suddenly saw rachel coming to us but she was late one step as girlfriend already onboard the bus. so the rest of my day spent with rachel and michelle. =)) now, rachel and michelle should be still in npcc. i had nothing to do now! i getting bored and would rather go to school somehow. i wanna go suntann as well as i getting fairer and fairer each day!

i found the light in my way and ever since then, nothing could change the way it should be.

2005-11-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

you may not know, i fall in love with you without me knowing.

nothing special each day. it is only school, homework and cca. i dont mind school and homework cos they look interesting and i excited to go school everyday. the only thing i mind is cca. i not happy with all the cca i chose all three years. after three years, i realise actually i still interested in table tennis. i wonder why i quit. maybe peer pressure. =(( but anyway, the advantage is im able to make to new friends new year and some really still in contact even though i not in that cca anymore. this will be the last time i change as i only have half year to participate next year. if i pass my N, it will be another half year and no more teacher will accept me anymore. it is a cruel fact.

i now love math, transformation chapter. it is so much fun using compasses and all. after school, went gym to excercise. it is good for health anyway. i love the running machine and maylene and me waited there for so long, in the end only one gave up the machine so maylene and me took turns. maylene burned hundreds calories! haha.. we shall go to the gym again practically everyday starting next week since we this week rather occupied.

girlfriend; dont think i getting colder towards you. i still feel we are the same. still, we have laughters every now and then and i still pull you to go anywhere with us, just like before. sometimes, if you dont wanna go, i wont force you cos it is not good for health. =)) i appreciate everything you did and thought for me. we will still be girlfriends as close as before. i love you, girl. <3 <3

2005-10-31T22:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN DAY, PEOPLE!!

YEAR 2005 is going to end. i just find that the year go quite fast. remember the day when we knew ms sek was our form teacher, new timetables, midyear exam getting on our nerves, common tests, researches driving each of us mad and latest, final year exam and soon, all going to be gone, counted as history yeah. starting of sec3s and it is now going to be end of sec3s. i can still remember the times when events held. everything! just everything! i really love my sec3 times although we racking our brains every now and then.

as usual, went school for math. supposed to have chemistry, but since everyone said that there was no science, we didnt. went cp and hang around there awhile. reached to a conclusion, harbourfront. idiot rachel made me laughs like mad woman! we were walking endlessly and followed these three guys who going sentosa. girlfriend took escalator and rachel and me took the steps. while we climbing, the steps seems to be never end. it was so high! i regret climbing it. reached the top and we found out that we were the other side of the harbourfront, so we went down again, using escalator please! rachel wanted to buy drink and 711 and rach told us 711 and pointed over there but she kept walking straight and we also. then we found it so weird, we turned to 711. girlfriend told us her funny dream last night and it was so retarded. went banquet and ate noodle. that was nice nice. then, went next level, the penguine tour. so much people and we kept walking round and round. the toilet is very nice too. while we walking, people kept looking, as if we going on a tour with uniform. dots lar. went to the exit, decided to go back cp. saw someone looked like shijing but actually, it was not. went to buy bubble tea and suddenly, i sneezed so loud that scared people beside me. that was accidentally. haha..
went home, very tired. changed and slept. while later, i woke up and ate lunch. still tired though and went back sleep. my sis said that im a pig! haha..
time check. it is now 10.40pm. i have to go and have to do the complicated math questions which consists of three questions include abc. not say alot what..
rachel was the nonense, not me! haha.. =))

HAPPY DEEPARAYA TOO!

2005-10-29T12:11:00.000+08:00

it is hols now but not for me. school still continue next two weeks and cca continue next two months. cca banner and everything still need to do. okay.. what a hols for me. maylene and me planning to work in hols but somehow studies is more important as 'N' is already next year. i scared next year already. four to five months to study and revise, after the june hols, prelim already start then ppp and finally 'N'. who not scared of such a limited time. =(((

my eyes was small last few days. due to my crying on monday. it took so long then my eyes recovered. but somehow, i think my eyes look small again as i broke down just due to some circumstances. it was really fun during the post exam programmes held last two weeks. some scenes were somehow embarrassing. i made myself so malu-ed.

mrs palani told us yesterday that we can go to the prima whatever to bake cakes. yay! i looking forward to that. =)) it since really long i didnt had a good, long outing with my threesomes. we desperate for a movie.

one more week to my insane fifthteen! the letter already given out to me and i wanna faster go and make but it is not the time yet. =((

you no longer deep in me ; i cant really remember your face every now and then ; maybe this is the results that i stop loving you.

2005-10-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

yesterday all papers were released. did rather badly. stayed in the hall whole day, waiting for teachers to come in one by one. xiuwen and tricia told us that thursday basketball match was a chaos. okay.. it was just a game anyway, right?

i didnt disappointed ms sek but mrs ong. i have to work hard in my math next year! when we got back bio, maylene suddenly broke down without knowing the real fact! we havent got back MCQ and she looked at the paper two and thought she failed. after she knew, she laughed. maylene.. you are so cute! fNn paper was the last. i need o.3 more mark to pass even though i knew that my fNn already pass. i bargained 0.3 more mark from mrs palani still and finally, i got it. =))

i nearly cried cos i miss my friends, especially those i keep kaijiao one. i scared on thursday, i sad yesterday. i really miss them and i really love them as well. =((

today, supposed to go harbourfront with girlfriend and valerie but i tired and lazy, so we didnt go in the end. rachel was so cute yesterday and this morning. she wanted to go out but she scared her mum rejected her so she called me. in those fifthteen hours, she havent asked and when she asked, no respond from her mum. dots..

what if i cry in school when it is about for sec threecharity to apart? that will be so saddening and embarrassing. i will not talk more now.

14 day to my insane fifthteen

=))

2005-10-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

this is getting insane! tomorrow the teachers will be given us back the results! time is passing rather rapidly that i couldnt even calm myself down. i dont wanna be the victim. i get very nervous and excited when i come to think about tomorrow. i couldnt even control myself now, what if tomorrow? maybe nervous until suffocate and die! lalala..

my chinese pass but i not happy about it. that was not the mark that i want. the mark that i want i was far from what i had now. i getting miserable each day. i really going insane sooner or later. remember to help me call "institude of mental health" in advance.

cca start tomorrow. i dont feel like going at all. it is like after exams and tomorrow is the day getting back results and i not going there to ache here and there.

16 more days! maylene is so demanding and impatient. i havent fifthteen and she already thought about her sixteen and nc16. are you trying to make me jealous?! humph! lalala..

this is getting really bad! english?!! math?! chem?! bio?! geog?! ss?! fNn?! i scared!! why teachers must give me this "insanity"?!

16 more days to my insane fifthteen! =))

2005-10-18T17:39:00.000+08:00

the weather nowadays are so freaking cold alrights. blanket for me also no use, i will kick it away in the middle of the night without me knowing. my blanket dont like me!! boohoo..

stayed in the computer lab whole day. did the excel course thingy and that included fNn and coping bank accounts. actually, it was rather fun and i was enjoying it much. we still have to continue on thurs! =)) went cp. we ate the same food again. laksas! the laksa is getting hotter and hotter everytime. tissues is essential to me now. lalala.. laughs alot there yeas. when we are in basement toilet, something bad had happened. nevermind, it will not bothered me. rachel is still the most active among the four of us!

our results will be given to us on friday! i scared! i really do!! what if i failed?! my answer for now will be jump down from the building. it is a insensible thought, but there is nothing i can think to do if i know i fail now. of cause, i dont wanna fail. i wanna pass! like who wanna fail?! but i really scared! nadiah told us what happened last year and it really freaked me out! i really scared. i scared! i Scared!! I SCARED!!!

she criticise us, i already angry and trying to avoid and ignore her. sometimes, i even talk back to her. today, not even us, she even criticise my sister! she must be sick and jealous that maylene said my sister is short but cute and pretty. the more i see her, the more disgusted i am larr. i just find that what she said was very offensive. she just ruined my day, arsehole!

2005-10-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

MY FEELINGS FOR YOU HAS GONE NUMB ACTUALLY..

sometimes we need to let go in order to feel better. but somehow, the one we let go is the one we love.
the one who we remember are those who makes us cry.

UNSEEN CUTS KILLS TOO!
IT HURTS MORE THAN THOSE CAN BE SEEN..

2005-10-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

my brother is having graducation night now. actually it is really sad to leave school after few years in there.

okay.. i really scared my results now. i love doing exams but i hate getting back results. i scared! i really do.

i suddenly feel like doing sports. looked at my table tennis bat, makes me feel like playing it. swimming included too. =))

i really getting bored at home! feel like hanging out but lazy. i pop kai by the way. too many things tempted me to buy but i pop kai! how awful.. dots.

2005-10-12T12:53:00.000+08:00

no more papers... no more practical. papers ended the day before yesterday and practical ended yesterday. however, i rushed my coursework yesterday night and i finally satisfied. supposed not going to school today but for sake of the coursework, i went. i glad it was over but not happy. just as what maylene had said, maybe due to the next year 'N'. i shall not say anything about this now and rather jump for joy that all the mugging and exams since last three weeks had gone.

yesterday practical was a blast. i admit that i anyhow cooked. seasonings were the main problem. anyway.. it was still edible.

today went school to pass up my fNn coursework yeas. met mans in library. did some catchups and off we went to office. the crayon smell was so strong and smelly! it nearly choked up my nose! boohoo...

go towning tmr or friday with girlfriend and maylene. but somehow, i'm very lazy to go out. but somehow, i feel like watching movie. new movies coming out as well.. =))

i cant remember the day when i met you and fall in love with you.

2005-10-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

TWO MORE PAPERS TOMORROW!!!

I SHALL NOT COMPLAIN ANYMORE!!!

JOCELYN LIEW, YOU CAN DO IT AND MUGG THROUGH NIGHT UNLESS YOU GOTTEN DIE!!!!!

2005-10-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

i wont like you and dont like you

no way i gotten fall in love with you again.

she and me were past

you and me were present

but all seems to be the past

i try to be the one

you need, you cry, you laughs

even it is going to be the end of us.

only if you understand and know.

2005-10-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

finally.. one week of exams had gone! today i shall rest. =)) chemistry and geography on monday!! mugging soon yeah. girlfriend and maylene only take chemistry that day and rachel no paper already but i still have two! say me poor thing yes?? =))
today had chinese. ended school real late. it ended like normal school time ya. mrs tan yilin seems to be our invagilator everyday but today was indeed very fun. she laughed with us alot too! she said that out class very naughty but she looked like she loves it than hates it. mr rama fell infront of us while we doing paper and we laughed and mrs tan said that we were very mean but she also got laughed. we stopped already, she was still laughing. our class bring laughters, alrights?? =))
went cp again. okay.. i went cp like everyday. saw that tall tall nan chiau guy again! he went cp everyday too! so obseen can.. now is like we recongise each others. for goodness sake! went banquet and we ate all the same! laksas and cocacolas. this is so called peer pressure. =)) went toilet and took girlfriend hp to take pics. maylene went home soon after. rachel was not tired after so many photos taken at all. she still so active and girlfriend and me were so tired already. she was funny yes.. went home, hair like lion hair. so, straightened it and it looked better. being a pig till now.
okay.. my mouth itchy and i wanna eat dinner!! cya then..

29 more days!! =))

2005-10-04T14:14:00.000+08:00

four more papers on the way and completed four papers by the way. yesterday were social studies and math. i didnt do finished my ss paper! i didnt leave the question blank but the ten marks question, i only wrote four lines! it was not enough obviously! boohoo.. math, no comments cos frankly speaking, i didnt know how to do. haha.. today had bio. yesterday studied until dozed off and i can actually said that i can do it. haha.. but really.. i have confident. =)) but in order to pass my sciences, i have to pass chemistry. boohoo.. tomorrow has fNn theory and it makes me so freak out. do not know where to start and there are many chapters to study. i have to study until one am again i guess. i no need to come to school early also. lalala.. my mum expect me to get eighty plus for chinese!! goodness.. she think i am still primary five! haha.. anyway, i just try but if cannot, too bad. never mind.. i shall study harderr and play harderr! =))

wednesday- fNn[theory]
thursday- NIL[im at home!]
friday- chinese one, two and three
monday- chemistry and geography
tuesday- fNn[practical]
FINISH!!!

2005-09-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

it had really been a embarrassing week! how am i going to face others now?! i shall called lay ting and not jocelyn cos it really EMBARRASSING!! i shall keep this in my memories forever and ever and ever. =))

went school. saw gayathri and she started to talk craps with me again! haha.. our craps will never stop forever and ever and ever! =)) shall went cp with you again after exams, alrights?

maylene was a cow, girlfriend was a cat and i am a dog! i really had a good laughs while walking to chemistry!

my name changed to huang lay jun for english and huang li jun for chinese. rachel is huang hui jun, maylene is huang mei jun and girlfriend is huang xiu jun. mdm zhang laughed when she heard we are the sisters. so retarded. haha.. and for fun purposes then.

in the hall for dismissal. i sat down and faced jolie, who was behind me while others faced the stage. i really love to eye electric jaclyn and joile! they are just so cute!! =)) laughters and retardedness within us.

bye to school and went to bustop near rivervale mall with rachel, maylene and girlfriend. we went to jalan kayu ate roti pratas! i love roti pratas!! =)) many people looking at us as if they first time saw uniform girls in pratas restaurant. hahaha.. went to take bus to cp after that. i told girlfriend one retarded thing and she told rachel and maylene. i laughed too loud and hard and rachel trying to struggle me with her belt but i still cant stopped laughing. maylene, rachel and girlfriend were laughing away. bought things and we went home.

i realised today my day was filled with laughters, craps, retardedness. thanks girls for giving me all these stuffs to brighten up my day. iloveyouall! =))

no way i can explain my feelings to you. maybe time will take us through this time.

2005-09-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

english exam tomorrow! i so scared the formats, comprehensions whatever there is in english paper one and two.
mr teoh said that ms rai gotten set a very difficult paper for us! what for setting so hard, woman?! boohoo..
i dont like to be dao, really! but sometimes no choice to some people. it is just my natural reaction to them.
sometimes, i did some soul- searching. somehow, i feel amused by the way i did things last times. sometimes, i even regret why i let the chances slipped away again and again even it was just so near me. even i wanna turn back now, it is over. too late to have it back again. i was like standing near the doorstep, wanna go but couldnt go but i wont go back to the world i just escaped. i been stucked inside there for more than two years, finally i get out from there. it may not be easy for me to escape again if i go back, so i chose to run. however, somebody may understand, somebody may not. depending.. =)

2005-09-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

no one failed to said that i look like yolanda today. do we really look that alike?? haha..
have to busy my fNn coursework once again! although mrs palani will not come for next two weeks, mrs tan will be collecting still. irritating larr.. english exam coming! ms sek gonna test us the formats on monday! idiots.. i forsure cannot remember! =(
no more cca now! i know others earlier no have but we kana dragged until today was the last practise before exams. the coach supposed to own me one dollar but now is i own him one dollar! where got like that?! he also said that i improved but not my baobei. i cant believe he said that i improved. is like i didnt even bother to practise at home larr. funny...
sometimes i cannot believe the people who i keep staring, sometimes turn out to be my friend in the end. last year, athirah was the first girl i kept staring, turn out to be my friend. last wednesday, christina was the second girl. same case as athirah. so funny and weird alrights? whatever anyway. i tired now. shall cya then.
i love my childrens, same here to all my loved one stated in my profile! =))

2005-09-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

i just feel i like a imbecile.
i dont need you anymore.
you are nothing but a friend,
maybe not even a friend,
just a stranger maybe.

2005-09-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

i still havent done my english homework and food order list but my decision makings and recipes completed. finally alrights.
math period, we apologised to mrs ong for our monday doings. she forgave us! =)) i just need her to teach rather than letting us self study.
after recess, all five periods of ms sek. felt so tired especially all thursday. girlfriend felt that too. went through choong boon secondary paper and got xinmin sec paper. more and more revisions from teachers but in order to pass, i dont care but do.
cd periods, went to mrs liau homeroom for presentation. luckily, we have no audience! hahaha.. mrs ong loves our product! =))
supposed to stay back for fNn in com lab but we didnt. and also supposed to go tuition but had busy my fNn, so i didnt go. i wondered how to face my teacher cos it is like one week i didnt go?! goodness..
i kept on whining to michelle in the early morning! she acted angry larr. idiot... haha..
i cant wait to have my study session with cherie next wednesday!! yesterday, i so happy when i talked to her online. it since long we last contacted!! =)) i love you girl!
two more weeks to exams and next week already english! how i wish i can squeeze time, alrights?? but that just so many makes me busy. i can only study in school, courseworks and homeworks at home. no matter how weak or tired iam, i still have to mugg! study harderr and play more harderr, rite?? haha..

2005-09-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

one more week to first exam! have to study the format of all letter writings! i shall take one step at a time larr.
didnt went for pe today but ms sek still wanna me to participate inside the basketball training stuffs. ms sek was so cool to let us train under the rain awhile. then, went to canteen. while trained, maybe i threw the ball to hard or far, it went under the rain. valerie hu went to catch it and she fell! sorry sorry for causing you so malu-ed. =P
had chong boon compo test in english periods. i chose question 2, " write about a occasion when you been accused of stealing." i didnt counted the words cos not enough time so i anyhow wrote numbers. what if ms sek realise? sheesh...
did revisions with rachel, jieying and sarah lee. got tired later. four plus, went down to npcc room with rachel and iryani and we played ball. supposed to go and meet gayathri but she went missing. i went to find her in library but no avail, yet she told me she was in the library! humph- i really had a good laugh while playing ball, girls! =))
going to be five, went cp with gayathri. we exchanged bags and gayathri said i look like a turtle shell!! hahaha.. hellos.. is your bag colors make me look like a turtle shall okay?? lol. went macs, ate ice-cream. she saw my timetables and everything!! saw her friends and they sent me out of the 711 entrance when i had to go home. reached home, busy about fNn survey and researches. where am i going to find one elderly to interview?! idiot.

tell me that you love me too even it will not last but at least i know you are there for me.

2005-09-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

cant believe i had i girl like you but i let you walked out of my life
after all, i put you through =))

THANKS THOSE WHO CARED FOR ME YESTERDAY, GIRLS! ILOVEYOUPEOPLE! =))

beloved; sorry for not hanging out with you today. another day alrights?? i must hang out with you one day. haha.

2005-09-15T19:35:00.000+08:00

IT IS GETTING TIRING
TO TURN MY HEAD AWAY
I FEEL LIKE BEING ALONE AT TIMES
BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO BE MY LISTENING EAR
YES!
THERE IS SOMEONE
BUT HOW LONG CAN I LIE ON HER
NOT FOREVER YOU KNOW
I REALLY NEED SOMEONE!

http://relaz-tianguo.blogspot.com - my brother blog! plase view his. -he wanna me to type this!-

school was rather fun larr. ms sek was absent and were free after recess! assembly in the morning, rachel, nadhini, melissa and me were so noisy when they made announcements. luckily, mrs tan only scolded sec2s for being the noisy one. lalala...
cd periods, i borrowed mans thinner scissor to thin my hair. i wanna cut my hair short after exams maybe. i tired of shoulder-length hair! =))
after school, went to ms yeo homeroom, waited for valerie hu and leeza. so while they doing their social studies homework, i talked with jocelyn, tania and patricia next door.
went deli. leeza and valerie bought alot of food pleasee... and i helped them finished some of them. haha.. leeza asked kelvin to come along. okay.. he rather funny larr. 5.30pm+, went home.

tomorrow mrs palani not coming again!! =)) but i will be in ms teh lab!

tomorrow also has open book test for chinese! it is a storybook and i havent even touch that storybook yet! goodness..

exams is coming and i study like madness! rachel said that i look so weak now and she is so worried. haha.. i really feel stress and it like nobody cares?? project presentation is coming too! teachers disappear one by one cos of the 'N'? yeahh.. even 'O', teachers also kana delayed. this shows how much important 'N' and 'O' can be. i dread coming to school!!!

that is my exam time-table. time to mugg seriously now! =))
27th sep- english one and two
3rd oct- social studies and math
4th oct- biology
5th oct- food and nutrition [ theory ]
7th oct- chinese one, two and three
10th oct- chemistry
11th oct- food and nutrition [ practical ]
[ geography is missing! ]

2005-09-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

school was alrights. after recess, ms sek and mrs palani were not in school so we are free till the end of day. instead, we went to ms teh computer lab. cant concentrated the researches at all. tempted to go frenster whatever secretly. haha.. we also went to some gruesome websites!
after school, went with mans and mummy, xinyi, to cp. ate at macs and mans had to go home. so, i went mummie house. supposed to study but took pictures with retarted actions!
5+, home i went.
tomorrow, i really has to put my heart to mugg in school. girlfriend went for cca and since i no need to, i shall wait for her with rachel accompany! i really have lots to do now. math homeworks still left undone! boohoo...

spare some times for me and you. i realise i started to get fond of you. =))

2005-09-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

i may be just like a kid at times

3 more weeks to study i guess. have to catch up all those chapters i didnt understand. chemistry is rather interesting. oh mann.. i so in loved with it.

pe was nice larr.. learnt and played basketball properly cos we will have interhouse. my group consists of jasmit, jayshree, janet, sandra, valerie hu, yannee, xiuwen, rachel and me and we are called kukus! hahaha..
beloved told me that she is jealous of me. why? cos my belt low, i didnt kana caught at all but she kana. so how? you wanna sabo me arr? hahaha.. dont be so bad to your beloved larr.. i will feel hurt. =))
after school, went for fNn meeting and mrs palani not coming for our lessons this week but we still have to finish up the coursework researches. boohoo.. six periods this week without her so peaceful as she everytime created noise, nagging! oh yes.. ms sek too. but actually, we will be learning nothing! oh my goodness, then i will have to study and understand myself! boohoo..
after school, went rm and saw jieying, iryani in macs, michelle and kendra in long john silver. we accompanied jieying and iryani instead. they are more healthy people. hahaha..
they went back home left me going back to school. saw michelle and kendra again. so obseen actually larr. stayed with michelle while kendra played basketball. ms sek used her paper hit my head lightly but no reason! what wrong with saying 'i did on april'?! i cant figure it out. boohoo..hahaha. played basketball with kendra then. buzz michelle came to the court also. she obviously cant tolerate my buzziness! haha.. what a word. 4+, saw gayathri and home i went with her. talked alot of craps larr. i just simply loves her, alright??
heaven dotes me alot i think. waited until i reached home then rain. haha.. can you believe it??

2005-09-10T11:25:00.000+08:00

my mum birthday is today and i havent even given her a present?! oh my... she going to grandma house to make mooncakes with others but should i go with her? i have to study you know and i sick of the mooncakes alrights. should i or not??

yesterday was damn embarrassing by this two freaking guys in the morning. they come to cp like everyday?! dont let me see you again, especially you, idiot.
late for cca and we have to treat them something. okay.. girlfriend and me shared money to treat them tea eggs and valerie hu treat them mooncakes. hey people, where got like that?! not fair.. i protest!! anyway.. who cares larr. rushed there and saw them making mooncakes. i hate mooncakes, so do danielle. i stared at this sec1 girl and she stared back at me. unknowingly, i laughed. what the... i just had nothing better thing to do, alrights?? dots...
felicia, girlfriend and me kana lectured by coconut head for one reason. i hate her, like who loves her?? she biased, kia si, kia shu and the mooncakes she taught us so oily, so ugly and so unpresentable. maybe i too fussy but who wants to eat such as oily mooncakes?! i was just venting my anger.
went cp and valerie toh found her wallet gone missing! accompanied her to find and walked till the school traffic there, a construction worker gave it to her. went back macs and danielle they all wanna buy tea eggs but too bad.. monday then has. so, girlfriend, danielle, valerie toh and sharleen went back home, left me and valerie hu. went yos and did my chem homework but stucked at the first question, cant be bothered already.
one more day to school and i so glad to see my friends again!! i cant wait to mugg with my mummy also. but.. i still scared the coming exams. start at 27sept and less than a month to mugg!

valerie hu; thanks for accompanied me in yos when the others already gone back.

2005-09-07T19:36:00.000+08:00

i love the song "MR LONELY"! the lyric is just below.

went to school today larr. felt VERY lazy especially in the hols. =(( did my math homeworks in the canteen while waiting for valerie hu. okay.. went cp to meet girlfriend even though our cca started at 11am. then, we decided to go late for cca. naughty rite?? all thanks to valerie hu. haha.. 11+, reached school. changed and went to look for ms tay. played all types of games at the court but most of the games we wrote, we didnt played. played basketball in the end.. it since really long i didnt played it. two hours later, coachs came. stayed in ms tay room watched vcd and off we proceeded to dance studio. oh girl.. i cant tahan the pain and the tiredness! 3+, went cp with valerie[s] and danielle. they are so bubbly alrights especially danielle! 5+, went back home. being a pig still.
tomorrow, i still have to mugg in cp again. i so glad that my mummy is gonna mugg with me next week and i cant wait after exams, the SUNTANNIG SESSION!! i love you girls.

i cant believe you actually caught my eyes. shall we try that one more time??

2005-09-07T19:01:00.000+08:00

MR LONELY BY AKON

Lonely,
I'm Mr. lonely,
I have nobody,
for my owwnnn

Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
for my owwnn

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there, man ya' know i got to have one "good girl" whose always been there like took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave yeah.
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda' sworn I was dreamin', for her I was feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova' these few years, tryna' figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cause, ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

[chorus]
I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (i have nobody)
For my owwnn(to call my owwnn)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (i have nobody)
for my owwnn (to call my own owwnn)

Cant believe I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put you thru you still stuck around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I really wanna make things right, cause without you in my life girl,

[chorus]

Been all over the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing you cause ain't nowhere in the globe I'd rather be, ain't no one in the globe I'd rather see, then the girl of my dreams that made me be so happy but now so lonely.

[chorus]

Never thought that I'd be alone, I didnt know you'd be gone this long, I just want you to call my phone, so stop playing girl and come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished I'd ever hurt my baby, and its drivin' me crazy cause...

[chorus]

Lonely,
So lonely, (so lonely)
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely,(Lonely) so lonely (so lonely)
So lonely, (lonely)
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely.

2005-09-03T21:48:00.000+08:00

another day is going by
i thinking about you all the times.
i cant just let you leave me once again.
so, tell me are you on the way
to bring me down?
i sorry
i cant be perfect.
now it is just too late and we cant go back
it is time to let them go.
ever since you walked away
you left my life in disarray.
when i wake up here tomorrow,
things will never be the same.
i wont wait,
you wont change
and we always be this way

2005-09-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

one week hols and i can do nothing but mugg now.
hellos.. i have like less than one month to mugg now. i scared.. i scared... i really hate sec three! now, i really miss my sec two and one times. it is just so different. i really hope i can squeeze my time and cope my every subjects well.
my table has been kana occupied by my sister, so i have nowhere to mugg. living room is a distracted place. so, i will have to spend my day mugging at cp or in school everyday till the exams are over.
went cp macs mugged and supposed to meet my sister there too later. but in the end, i all alone. she cant see me at all and just walked past like that. maybe she couldnt see me at all.
thinking whether should i go out with my beloved on tuesday. should i or should not?? nevermind.. i shall see.
feel like changing my frenster profile again. but i still have a lazy attitude.

this is my last goodbye to you. thank you for been with me all the while. =))

2005-08-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

i been waiting for your presence

but you doesnt seem to know

even if i see you

once in a blue moon

i still be pleased

i was waiting and searching for you and believed you will came back again. but in the end, you didnt. i turned back every minutes and see whether you there, but disappointment befall me. it is true that i dont love you anymore but i still wanting to see you. taking a glance, i still be glad. you doesnt even know that. will we ever meet again??

i lazy, i tired. i dread going to school. i busy about fNn coursework, homeworks, tuition works and revisions. i dont even dare to think what will happened next year. slept late nowadays and the latest is one am. maybe that is the reason why i feel so tired every moments. i depress, i sad. i not happy in the sense that i dont smile and laughs the way i used to.

today had mass. i lied on maylene shoulder then michelle leg, laughings was the next. shangari was the victim. then, changed for aces workouts. very lazy to do all those stuffs. changed back, recess time, whole levels gathered in the canteen. saw ex sjc girls and i kept finding her but she didnt appeared. went back hall. followed the teachers. mrs ong is the princess!! oh girls.. we love her lots!! mrs elan and ms tay were so cute and funny. school ended. still hoping to see her but still, no shadow. went plaza sing and we ate chicken rice. hanged around and went back cp and rachel and me invented a new flavour of baby sweets with ice- cream. rachel mixed all the sweets in maylene ice- cream and i suggested putting the sweets back inside the bottle and placed where it supposed to be. i wondered what reaction will the owner has if they take back. hanged around again and went back home. no fans cos my dad was washing so i tolerate all the heats. slept suddenly and woke up six plus. sang the mickey mouse song whole day and i love that!! lalala..

i tired to use my brain and write anymore. cya then.

;thanks girlfriend, rachel and maylene for giving me a good time today. i love you threesome!

;michelle.. thanks for letting me lying down on your leg.

2005-08-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

<- -270805

a bad day for me in afternoon. also can say unlucky larr!! chemistry first... went to IT resource room three, waited there for quite sometime and in the end, kana occupied by two justice. humph! but anyway, we went to IT resource two instead since there is aircon too. =))
then pe one hour on aerobics. for goodness sake! kana spotted by turtle chow for not doing properly. "you know the basketball part must raise high, not like that like that. must do like what you will be doing on that day." she said. woman... what i did will be the SAME as that day!! first period gone, ms sek made us ran three rounds as usual. while on the second round, i trip and fell where the blue big stage is. the impact was loud and my friends so shocked and asked whether i alright. hands and legs are injured and plasma coming out!! so shiny. haha.. continued on the aerobics. while doing, i cant tahan the pain anymore and asked ms sek permission to toilet. i told her the cause and asked alex accompanied me too. carry on but i cant really move my legs and hands.
accompanied maylene to her house to take diskette. okay.. on the way there, we were laughing hard cos of our lame, childish stuffs. haha..
went to school, in com lab. supposed to hand up the math project by 2.59pm but we late. i still have to print for tricia their group and hand up to mrs ong. you know what?? the printer broke down suddenly!! so.. dragged and dragged until almost one hour later. i rushed
everything larr.. finally, work finished. five plus, reached home. eat and eat and eat.
now, have to finished up my fNn mindmaps and overall timeplan. four periods tmr what can you expect?! idiot.
i been really busy since last week. didnt really have time for freetime. not even say day- dreaming>!! so what if our exams maybe postpone to late october?? i still need time to buck up all that i lost. okay.. shall not waste time. bye people.

if you wanna find me, see me at cp library cafe. i will be there! haha..

;thanks girls... i okay now. thanks for all your concern

;oh alex.. i have to thanks for your cute snoopy plaster!!

;maylene.. i really had fun with you by beating each other obseen areas and childishness. i love you girl!

;sharleen.. so you think it is very fun to beat each other obseen areas? haha.. miss you.

;baobei.. thanks for your three plasters. shall go high again this friday, alright??

;tricia.. hey.. i have something to tell you tmr in school. better come. let explain to mrs ong together. haha.

;girlfriend.. thanks for helping me to print those researches cos my com spoil. i love you girl!

;victoria.. you really risked it for helping me searched for tricia hp no in your hp. thanks vickyy!

2005-08-27T20:02:00.000+08:00

hey people... the geography farms trip was so boring!!! wore house tee and went to mushroom, hyroponics and funmart. i detest that!! soon, 12 o'clock, we headed back to school. =))
waited at the school bustop before changing cos rachel and me promised to change together. one hour later, she came. please girl.. one hour>?! i was so damn freaking bored!!
saw iryani they all sat outside the taka and we went to change first. i wore black sleeveless but same pants i wore at the trip. snicker too.
i went out the cubicle first and saw jocelyn tan and her friend. rachel did not know that there was another jocelyn so when she called, i did not answered and actually, i didnt even know she called. second time, she called and i answered as i can recongised her voice. luckily, rachel did called me or else i malu-ing myself and that will be so embarrassing!! but i still confused at that time.
sat nearby the lrt station. ate many things cos we are not full!! went to sculpture park and i injured my elbow while climbing the marble. it is only a minor luckily. we climbed the whale and marbles and stayed there until four plus, included the some sec one. lynette went home with the sec one, left iryani, rachel and aiting.
decided to go back cp and bought drinks. goodness!! the ice milo was so sweet until i dont wanna drink anymore!! stood at the second floor and did people- watching. then, saw hilda went missha. when she came out, she stood with us. minutes later, headed to yoshinoya. we were talking, laughing and took pictures. some really very funny until we laughed the loudest there.
okay.. six plus, decided to go home but before that, rachel and me had to change back what we supposed to be, unfortunately something happened. yes! we laughed too hard but dislike that red shirt guy sat at my left. irritating can. curse you, bastard!!! i just put on my house tee over the black sleeveless shirt cos we wanna faster leave that place.
iryani, aiting and me had to go home so hilda accompanied rachel to toilet.
reached home, ate dinner but it supposed to be lunch. nevermind.. i full. then.. i become a pig till now.
just now talked to samuel. haha.. so childish, rubbish but funny. hahaha..

now 9.24pm, i have to go. so cya then.

2005-08-26T21:21:00.000+08:00

on my way, i can never reach you.
forget it.. i shall not waste my time.
it is no point getting what i cant have it.
even if i can get it,
i will lose it one day.
but i really have one request,
before i leave,
let me has a most memorial memories.

just back about one hour plus ago. i feel rather depressed today. i feel dead>!!! mr teoh came back!! just as what jolie had said, we really need his help and his teachings again!! what those relief teachers had taught, i can never really understand. i shall absorbs brand new knowledge now!!
had lunch in cp. saw tricia and yaojun in macs. tricia fake sick larr!! hang around but 3.07pm, i told valerie[s] how about going back to school and they said this is the first time they heard me saying going back school early than they expected. fine then... i admit all the times i the latest one and dragged going to school, alright??
stay in the toilet and tried to be funny. i love that cute song and it accompany me the whole day!! i love felicia who is my baobei too. with her, i can go real high. val[s] said that when without her, i can get very serious. really?? how funny. i got tired and restless in cca especially today. maybe due to depression?? it was not maybe actually, it was YES! the irritating bitch caught my belt deteched in toilet and like i care to sew just for that?? she help me sew larr or else SHUT UP BITCH!!! that was how my day in school ended.
went to cp again to meet my sister. while on the way, i pissed off with valerie hu, so i walked so fast until they can never catch up. i dont care.. that her problem. girlfriend, you are not at fault. i not that mean too. =X stayed in the library studied until seven plus and off we went to buy dinner.
tomorrow has geography trip to three farms. and you know what?? seven thirty has to reach school!! cant they just let me sleep a while more?? i cant wait to meet rachel, iryani, aiting, lynette and maybe maylene at twelve plus!!! =)) hey.. goat milk is a must to bring home cos I LOVE MILK!!!

2005-08-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

IMPERFECTIONS;

empty spaces
fill me up with holes
distant faces with no place left to go
where i going is anybody's guess
i've tried to go on
like i never know you
voices tell me i should carry on
i still wonder if we make a big mistake
i dont mean to drag it on
but i cant seem to let you go
but still
i wanna let you go

2005-08-24T19:47:00.000+08:00

we patch up with rachel again! i knew rachel is not those xiaoqi type one. =))
did my fNn task analysis yesterday night and today after school when she checked, she still found something amiss. irritating larr.. now again.. have to catch up somemore details. palani gave me two minutes to see what the differences between maylene factors and mine. too bad.. i escaped. i went canteen instead but it was not two minutes, it was NEVER! she has no sense of time anyway.
the geography elective girls supposed to see mrs poi after assembly but i didnt. it was all about the hydroponics and goat farms trip this saturday. dont feel like going but it is compulsory baby. what she and ms chew said was totally different! jaclyn is my partnerr since lynette not coming. rachel went for her np thingy that day also. so... maybe rachel, valerie hu and me can hang out together after that. hahaha.. wonder should i wear home clothes or school uni. oh yes.. i also can use this trip reason to excuse my cca trip! yay!
did not went for cca again. this time round, girlfriend and valerie hu not going too but they brought the clothes. i was the smartest one.. didnt brought anything. hahaha.. whatever..
i gtg to do fNn now. so cya then.
SHARLEEN CHIA!! I GOTTEN TAKE REVENGE THIS FRIDAY!! HUMPH-

2005-08-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

it is unexpected when this day of yours came this unfortunate thing happened. it was not we didnt want to go at all but the fNn ruined it. i sorry but we may hang out some other times rite?? your day wont walk away. please??? dont be angry ok?

I FINISHED MY FnN TASK ANALYSIS FINALLY!!! okay okay.. being coped up by all the papers long hours until dehydration!! hey girls... my homeworks still havent done and it is like 9.25pm?? how?? my table is in a mess larr..

i ignored you when i see you everytime.
idont know why but that my reaction toward you everytime.
i wont miss you nor hate you.
neither love you too.
you are just a normal girl i see
but i still remember the days we past. =))

2005-08-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

didnt went out today. yesterday didnt have the feeling to and girlfriend said that she had to accompany her mum. maylene called me and said that after final year exam, meaning, october then hang out again. okay.. nevermind.. i shall start mugging now. i bet there is four weeks more for me to strive. four weeks, i hope it is enough time for me. yesterday the 'O' levels cohorts had ptm. i wondered to myself, what if i at the same state like them in next year? moreover, next two years? it is unpredictable alright. 'N' and 'O' is so much important. okay okay.. i shall not talk about that. it is rather frightening.
rachel birthday is in three days time. still thinking what should i buy for her. as you know, i that type of last minute sort but obviously not studies. she loves mushroom but where can i get a cute mushroom stuffs for her?? can anyone tell me? it is really very rare to let me see cute mushroom stuffs. if no avail, then i will have to buy other.
rachel, aiting, iryani, nadhini went for atc after recess. it was really saddening when we watched them walking away. especially rachel! i miss her and them. anyway.. they coming back tomorrow! i realise rachel is my needs larr. everytime disturbed me out of nowhere but now, i miss her disturbance!
i have no moods for everything, anything. either fake smile or tired. what happened to me? something seems to be burden me. nothing about love, like, dislike. it is just a blank. lied on my bed and i dozed off minutes later. isit something related to my sickness? or just some kind of stuffs that i unable to let go? i wont know and i bet i dont wanna know either. oh yeah.. i suddenly remember of my fNn coursework. people.. it has to be hand up by tuesday and i still lots to catch up! tomorrow?? monday?? enough time??

it is 10.45pm. it is late. i still have works undone.
cya then... goodnight =)
i still manage to put a smile above and this is the first and the last smile for this post.

2005-08-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

you neither my needs nor my wants. sometimes, i really wanna make you feel higher and fall harder. isnt that great?? knowing it will be NO to you but i happy to do that.

GETOVER SOMEONE
-dont look at them. do anything and everything to avoid looking at them.
-force yourself not to think about them even they probably runs through your mind quite a few times during your typical day or purposely thinking of them if you are bored.

2005-08-17T19:10:00.000+08:00

i sick! i sick! now i realise i sick more than three times this year. sore throat recovered but come flu and cough. how "strong" can i be??
assembly quite fun larr. i was laughing with my friends all those while especially maylene and girlfriend! oh please.. the opera seem so retarted. didnt really fully attention to their drama act. i playing with rachel hippo instead. i really love last few parts! at quiz time, maylene, girlfriend and i was laughing out so loud that people from afar can hear. there was this girl went to answer and when she walked back, we started laughing cos the way she walked is so funny and cute! second time she went again and we started laughing aloud again. hellos... we like sat right near the middle.. shargari was in the fashion parade. we promised to cheer for her and we really did! oh girls.. she is a sexy babe yeah!! i noticed that when we cheered, people kept on looking at us. did we really cheered that loud?? haha.. =)) the actions that shargari made was so funny. i admit that we laughed but this is a compliment alright?? cca then.. time past real fast! suddenly, it was over!! now then i know how pervertic is sharleen. better stay far from her or else... ... haha.. went compass. saw rachel, maylene and victoria at terminal. maylene went off. rachel came along with us and she asked victoria came too. i dont mind cos she my friend too! haha... while later, victoria and girlfriend went off. rachel and me decided to peek-a-boo somewhere. haha.. only 3 of them, how pathetic. went library to see rachel sister. reached there, saw her uncle too. i like the way rachel talk to her uncle. damn funny can.. haha. went home, sneezing till now. i can no longer be more active for the time being! let me tell you all something. i shall stare at people now!! include those kana stared by me last time! haha.. =D

2005-08-15T19:35:00.000+08:00

sad, scared and angry is what i feel just and now. i dont know what should i do unless you all only joked around but it didnt seem to be.
all thanks to rachel lim. i was very angry but in the end, she still the one makes me laughs and smile. i not angry anymore!!
girlfriend same here too. she the first one to say she believe me even though i know it is hard to get them believe me now. thanks for comforted me all the while.
maylene is not excluded. thanks for being for my listening ear and there for me. actually... i really glad to have you all three around with me!
jolie included too. thanks for being my listening ear during geog. i willingly to be yours too.thanks girls!
frankly speaking, when this incident happened, people will feel happy but instead of feeling happy, i feel angry, sad and scared. i just find it is just too late to know all this to you because everything has change. i just wanna make it clear but doesnt seem to have any guts.
whenever i think of it now, the whole suitation, i cried. i almost cried two times today. you can see how sad it can be. i dont want others to think what is not true.

2005-08-15T19:03:00.000+08:00

i just changed the style of these two pictures. =))

2005-08-14T19:08:00.000+08:00

i do not know
how you find out i like you
maybe my expressions
had given you the answer.

i sick! my girl.. i hate that. having terrible sore throat now. we are like having passing- go - round. let me do a friend equation..
rachel---> girlfriend---> me.
only maylene havent kana.. rachel, girlfriend and me shall pass it to her tmr. just like what rachel said, three better than one!! =))

2005-08-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

had a day with maylene and girlfriend in plaza sing!=))
met up with girlfriend first at 11.30am, the busstop near our school. maylene came later. only rachel havent came. 11.45am, rachel called and said that she couldnt come. she still at home!! can you believe it?! she told us last minute!! nevermind.. i shall forgive her. haha. =D
went plaza sing. i saw something obseen! tricia and her friends inside the train also. talked not long cos they alighted at hougang. decided to sit in food court and get a drink. mrs cherry lim sat behind us and we said HI. actually girlfriend and i not eating but tempted by maylene so we eat also. walked at the basement and saw tricia, yaojun and their friends. yaojun suddenly came kajiao us! haha.. went some shops and i love roxy stuffs!! went toilet and saw yaojun AGAIN! you know what she said to me? " where is xiuwen?" hellos she supposed to be with you, NOT me, how would i know? or are you trying to mean something else or you know something that is not suppose to know? took pictures. just upload some in frenster. went carrefour and we did something silly. saw kiddy sunglasses and put on and took pictures of it. we laughed so madly! went back compass. maylene and me laughed almost the whole trip but girlfriend laughed awhile. maybe she dont know why we laughed?? went metro and tried clothes. maylene loving it! haha.. 4+, maylene had to go church,girlfriend had to meet her sis and i went home. watched shaman king!! i love that cartoon animation vcds!!
feel like going out again next week, but also need to see rachel. rachel... please come next week alright?? love having you around. =))

2005-08-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

time flies fast today. 6pm just like that but anyway.. i dont mind. haha.. i hate american and i love britain cos one paper in american phrases cause me to fail! this paper is also going to be like 'N' level and i fail?! goodness.. my girlfriend made me lost one mark instead she gained one mark. i already done badly for that paper, you doesnt have to push lower one. ='(( haha..
i dont like my hair alright.. so ugly! this will what happened when you cut yourself but i still be doing that. i addicted to it long.. tomorrow hanging out with rachel, maylene and girlfriend. wonder where we will go. really want to see rachel wear black sleeveless top!! it is late.. got to go soon. cya then!

i would rather save you
than hurt you
sometimes, i tried to save you,
but end up hurting you.

2005-08-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

UNSEEN CUTS KILL TOO

i slash to make things better,
i bleed to know that i alive,
but the wounds just doesnt seem to heal.
some cuts are just too deep to be seen,
hurts. pain. unwanted. lost. confuse. dying. dead.
i just a human feeling, i feel this too.
i sorry.. i am imperfect.

i posted one previous post just now, the same day. about the day i spent with rachel, maylene, girlfriend and valerie hu in school and after school. =))

2005-08-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

we had national day eve celebration. wore school uniform but after the assembly, rachel and me changed to home clothes. so funny.. we in the cripple toilet and rachel and me exchanged each other skirt and pant to wear. had funfair.. so shyan think she very cool la?? sat in ms tay car. haha.. irritating.. went hall.. tired somehow. minutes later, they dismissed us. rachel stained her pant so mayl and me helped her washed and dry. we nice right?? haha.. off we went to cine. met sharleen on the way too. reached there but too bad.. there was no movies to watch. from that time onwards, i pissed cos valerie hu was so noisy. kept on giving suggestions or opinions.. but like we care?! went far east plaza. walked back and fore as we cant remember where it is but we reached. we just wanna sat down, eat or drink and rest!! =)) in paragon while later. stayed in the toilet and dont feel like going out. there is so cosy and nice! haha.. went plaza sing. ate at food court. rachel dropped her mirror in the bowl when she looked at it! we laughed so loud until the others caught our attention. 4+.. going back compass. saw michelle, kwai, anna, adeline, cherly, atiqa but we pretended we dont know them. haha.. in mrt.. they came and sat with us. the stupid rachel! sat the opposite side! humph- valerie they all and one assistant talked about eye-liner thingy. i not interested, saw nail polish tester, i tried all my fingers. went home, mayl kana attacked by one guy at work. rachel and me walked away laughing!! =:D reached home at 5+. now 10.35pm and i going off. bye people..

2005-08-05T19:31:00.000+08:00

i love you, i miss you but when i see you, i ignore you.

common tests is over!!! :)) but.. fNn continue next friday. had geography and fNn. i studied chapter 3 but not 6. fNn didnt touched at all but i have confident for this two papers. confident but doesnt mean i will pass. haha.. =D i pass my chinese too! mdm zhang asked me for my mark and she felt rather pleased. naninanipupu.. =) tricia so funny lar. i now then know she loves doreamon. haha.. i inside her 'ding tan pai' today. identify the doreamon she drew on our hand. she drew for me is so cute! =P went compass.. moodless lar.. thinking whether i should go cca anot. sat outside 711, saw my sis and i ran towards her! she bought ice-cream and treated me sushi! =)) then, she went home. i wonder why i suddenly so happy when i saw my sister alrights.. conclusion:"i pon my cca again." this time round no tuition but no mood to go. damn tired.. i decided when i decided to flip the coin but rachel was the one flipped it. went back school, took my bag and out i met with rachel. funny happened while we crossing the road and other side. i fated not to go that why. =P
i cut my own hair yesterday. my fringes and behind.. my mum did not find out cos i threw them out of the window. haha.. i love to cut my hair!! =))

2005-08-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

today had combined science tests. three more tests to go. nevermind.. i shall be patient. =) i pon my cca cos i had tuition. the fucking ms tay asked me to give her two letters for that. irritating.. tuition more important than cca alright. wanna argued with me? you LOST! =) michelle is very childish!! :x act mature only. haha.. you are a MONSTER!! i loving it cos i love to kajiao-ing you! =D
i wanna change my email again! not bubbleluv anymore. i shall tell you all when i finish. shyan.. you cant call me bubbleluv anymore cos i changing! wahahaha

i dont expect you to be perfectionist
if you wanna be
that is your problem
i admit i not impeccable
cos no one do

2005-07-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

i love dogs especially puppies yes!! they are so cute people! :))
new chemistry teacher came. not ms phang but ms whatever.. cant remember. she was so retarted alright. what she taught was totally different from mr teoh and rather more confusing. what the hell... :x mayl is so cute! :D
xiuwen asked me to smell her during social studies. my nose didnt function properly that time i guess but i smell it while later. didnt tell xiuwen about it yet.
fNn had mini test about eggs. supposed to have milk test too but that fatso forgotten. did badly cos didnt study.
went rivermall after school. ate at food court, macs and went pet shop. that is when i find dogs so cute!!! those can walked about suddenly stood infront of me and butterpie said that i had dog smell. haha.. okok.. whatever..
went back school for cca. no table-tennis cos excursion?? ms lim said one. cant be bothered anyway. only fencing and us and the gym full then. from next week onwards, wednesday and friday have cca but different venue. ms tay wanna give us a camp in school during september hols. should i go or not?? i lazy to pack and tidy out. :')
reached home and ate dinner. studied and lied on the bed for few minutes and dozed off. now 12.25am dear.. gotten offline now.
common tests are just next week people!! :o the teachers are so fucking hell irritating! told us chapters to study but tests are next week!! rush hours here. :((

2005-07-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

I SO INTO YOU RIGHT NOW FOR NO REASONS ;x

i love my smilie rectangle. how cute can. xiuwen said i drew rubbish again... is like hers sometimes micky mouse.. ;x tricia kana scolded by ms sek badly when assembly cos her few fringes quite long and ms sek wanna cut it for her since she dont want to cut. i was like stood infront of her so i heard everything. i so freaking scared when ms sek stood near me. my belt is deteched that why. i just felt pity for her lar..
mrs ong said that some teachers said our class are dont bring, dont do and noisy but today we proved mrs ong wrong. cos we too hardworking, she let us have early recess. ;]

i have to go.. lots of things havent do.

2005-07-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

there is one question keep on going round my mind.
"who do i like?"
i keep on wondering but i clueless even though i know i like someone.
maybe i like anyone, i dont even know.

chemistry first. maddness got to me, then maylene.we were laughing so hard and loud but ms phang did not seem to bother. maylene laughed until her face all red and i nearly cried. i shall not say what happened. so f ucking retarded. haha.. :))
pe second. got tired by maddness and i quieter down. played floorball AGAIN!! everytime time play floorball, wont ms sek sick?! 1 hour gorge in floorball. -_-" i love to compete with michelle, qiaolin that group! :)) i forever against michelle and i shall continue that. did you see that, xiaomin? ;]
math third. mrs ong wanted us to sit the place she arranged, not randomly. i sat with tricia lar.. haha. math rather difficult cos i dont understand. i asked mrs ong explained several times. this sums we did had to hand in by 5pm.
break then geography. 3c and 3d presented but not 3b. did geography project presentation. ours is chart ya. eye contacts was what ms chew praised us. THAT ALL. whatever.. lynette taught me math too. i understood..
english next. had class test, formal letter. i mixed up the 'regarding' and 'dear sir/madam'. gosh.. few marks gone.
school ended.. went staffroom to find mrs ong. she attended other girl on the other side. few minutes later, she turned. i waved to her and she not sure who i waving to. i kept on pointing her whatever, then she came. irritating.. :x
went compass. sat at burger king but changed to macs. after we ate finished, rachel used the paper to fold fan. i opened it and folded aeroplane. just then, a group of nan chiau guys sat behind us. due to playfulness, we decided to throw the plane over there. after few failures and laughters, we finally succeeded! of cos they realised and of cos we got out. so embarrassing.
i dont wanna have practical tomorrow. all the dishes we cooked so disgusting alright. ;x

JOCE... GET OUT NOW!

2005-07-24T17:43:00.000+08:00

i not as happy as before after i know you
but this doesnt bother me
because i know i fall in love with you.
there seems to be a time
when we are coincidence, not fated
as i know we are not meant to be.
i know what i want
but i know i will never have it.
i falling deeper
even though i trying to avoid.
sometimes i wish that if i never get to know you,
will it be another outcome??

I LOVE THE SWING!!! I WANNA PLAY AGAIN!! :))

2005-07-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

i been feeding tablets nowadays. hard to swollen but have to. it not as small as you can think, it is BIG! :x
i felt tired in school especially in mrs thiru homeroom. felt real sick this few days. wonder how long can i take it.
mdm zhang called me again during chinese. she most of the lessons called me. irritating... she also said that my behaviors in lessons improve. funny.. i dont even realise that. :))
after recess, all five periods with ms sek as two english, one cme and cd. did comprehension and summary. valerie[s] and me allowed to be dismissed at 12.40pm as later had investiture. i felt embarrassed instead of proud. last year same too. but i least excited today. i dont know why when they said my cca, i turned and looked at the head prefects direction. embarrassing!! :x oh yes.. she didnt called my name wrongly. not like that day. i going to box her if she pronouned wrongly alright.
i wondered who the one called my name while i walked to ms chow. oh my goodness!! i felt more embarrassing.. but thanks girl. haha..
i just simply hate mrs tan. she asked the cca teacher to called out those grooming problems girls to see her after that. for goodness sake, forsure is me one can but.. luckily ms tay didnt came today and tomorrow. i escaped again! :))
went compass with rachel, maylene, maureen and girlfriend. rachel helped me detached my belt and like i care?! NO! hanged around and while later, girlfriend and maureen went home. left me, maylene and rachel. saw jinhui all those gang and we were like so freaked out. hellos.. the most freaked out was maylene. haha... rachel not so lar.. no tution cos i went home late. gotten go another day.
my homeworks still havent finished and it is like so late now!! 10+ nite. just completed fNn research that why. i have to rush NOW! :(

2005-07-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

after months of thinking,
apart each other seem to be the better.
although either of us may feel unbearable.
what going on between us,
no one seem to know or understand.
we may seek friends for questions or advices
but did we really do it?
or tend to lie to ourselves that they are just kidding.
what matter was only feeling.
you may have your own life.
yeah.. i want that too.
but you are the one that seem to be the obstacle.
i leave earlier than you,
it just that you doesnt know.
maybe now you realise,
it time for me or you to go.
i wont say love
cos it is too strong
when i know it is impossible between us.
i disregard lies as one.
i prefer the facts and face reality.
eventually,
i still like you anyway.

2005-07-09T12:36:00.000+08:00

i went home real late yesterday. didnt went anywhere but in school watched the pop. yeah.. really nice.
we sat in the hall and while teachers said all those prayer and announcements thingy, i busy with my english compo as it had to be hand up early in the morning. i forgot to count the words alright! shark! sure kana scolded. :x
went ms sek to get new timetable and off we went to social studies.
after recess was fNn. most of us felt very tired and kept on yawning. felt like sleeping and when it time for discussion, we put our heads onto the table. dont know why we felt restless. i noticed janet, rachael, michelle, maylene and rachel also the same as me. okay.. cant concentrated.
chemistry and no textbook. maylene same there. took down notes. maylene and me drawn our hand AGAIN. maylene helped me drawn my hand "I LOVE NICHOLES". haha.. but i had to washed it all cos had cca later. washed at the lab but left black and red marks.
went kovan for lunch. can say we and sweetiepie very fussy, kept on that dont want, this dont want. we met some cute guys there.
went back to school. changed but i didnt. went crazy with felicia and really made me cried. haha.. irritating. watched pop in canteen. really inspired by them. ate dinner there too. the food not appealing one. went home and reached home at 8pm.
that was yesterday.

2005-07-06T21:51:00.000+08:00

dont ever think that you are so noble.
i dont appreciate that.
but if you want to continue that,
that is your problem.

firstly, my mirror going to spoil! i too rough with it. have to buy another one again. secondly, i forgot to bring name tag again. ms sek spotted it and tricia kana too.
i found my geography mapwork book! ms chew gave it back to me cos someone put at her table. :) surprising.. who actually know i teach by ms chew. i glad i have it back but chemistry... sad case.. havent found yet! :( ms chew said that there is a excursion for all geography students on 30th july. i dont feel like going but it is compulsory. hate that fucking trip! ;(
assembly changed to cd period. ms sek suddenly called me and asked me to take a chair and sat beside her as she wanna talked to me. my hand drew something so i kept on covered it. talked can talked until whole period finished. okay.. about something that she and me concerned.
after school, went with rachel and maylene to meet peterpan at ponggol park. i love the swing! i swinged higher and higher. jealous?? alright the day with peter, rachel and maylene. rather fun.
rachel.. i wont seduce him. no worry. i already have someone. haha..
tomorrow i sure have alot of thing to discuss with my sweetiepie, rachel and maylene. simple.. i dont know what to do.

i live in confusion because of you. but now.. you say go then go. you think i able to solve and put aside those confusions?

2005-07-05T21:06:00.000+08:00

reached school and the first i told valerie[s] was "i have a ____". haha.. funny.. they were like so surprised, alright?
assembly in the hall. stood in the middle waiting for yaojun cos she standing infront of me. ok.. tricia and yaojun came. kept on talking about a new teacher wore green, very pretty and kept on looking behind. just then, ms sek came and she wore green too and we laughs.
chinese periods. i dont know why i very excited, so do girlfriend. continued talking behind and valerie hu sang "the banana song".
biology periods. the lab lights spoil so mrs lim let us used the lamp. maylene didnt brought textbook and rachel sat beside me cos of the light?? haha.. rachel and me talking and conversation in a paper. girlfriend kana disturbed by us.
english period. ms sek checking the summary that we did during weekend. she called out all the names and separated to 'who should stay' and 'who shouldnt stay' after school. i no need to stayed but stayed for fun. another purpose was to wait for maylene also.
fNn four periods. crashed with 2a so we used the preparation room. mrs palani didnt nagged much today. thanks goodness. did coursework, the definitions and mindmap. mindmap did in group. mans back in fNn too. surprising..
math period. did nothing but slacked. didnt listened anything. haha..
waited in canteen alone but later, accompany by chanel and sarah. thanks girls. i felt restless so when i looked at people, must blink my eyes first. haha.. funny.. irritating.. finally, maylene finished and we decided to stay and watched pop rehearsal. rachel so cute alright! after their first rehersal, we went home.
i have pop out alot of pimples lately. oh my goodness.. i dont like my hair also. i dont like everything include that person. i hate you means hate you. no explanation. glad you understand.

2005-07-04T13:00:00.000+08:00

i now in jaclyn house using her com. play habbohotel now but i suppose to do geography project now. nevermind... later. take a break first. haha.. rachael bot coming and joile havent leave her house yet! haha.. irritating.. i have a stead in habbohotel. can you believe it? i just treat it for fun one. no use taking it so serious. i shall not continue. later maybe.

2005-07-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

i wonder why
i not close to rachel and maylene now
i sorry
that i chose not to go out with you all that day
but it was not that i dont want at all
it was i dont feel like
but i somehow wanted to go.
we fought.
you hit my lip
of cos it was pain
but i didnt even angry for long.
can you all please tell me
whether we can still let this friendship
like before?

BABY, I CAN'T ALWAYS SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND
LOOKING BACK ON YESTERDAY
MEMORIES WONT FADE AWAY
I NOT WHO I USED TO BE
SOMEONE COME AND TAKEN ME
IF I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE TO DO
IN ORDER TO BE THERE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU ARE FEELING LOW
THE PROMISES I GAVE YOU
I NEVER MEANT TO SEE THEM LEFT UNTRUE
ALL THAT I ASK IS ONE MORE TRY
COS I NEVER WANNA SAY GOODBYE

2005-07-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

today is "be yourself day". i wore white top and green skirt. yeah.. celery again. nothing special actually. everything is normal. mrs palani was not in school. we went to preparation room as told by mrs palani last tuesday. talked and did worksheet and of cause, including music. played in qianyu mp3. i wondered if we talked damn loud.
went compass and ate in mos. saw nathenel at macs and can you believe it?? i smiled to him. suprising.. i ordered first, followed by valerie tan, then valerie hu. we saw one place nobody occupied and we decided to book that place. i went cos i ordered and behind, there was this guy kept on looking at me. i thought that place was his so when i walked half way, i turned around and asked that guy whether that place was his. how bold can. he said very blur but i can only heard last few words clearly. he said i can sat that place so i go and sat lor. embarrassing.. later, vals came back and asked me what happened. so embarrassing!
went cca. i almost forgot everything due to school hols didnt practise. haha.. six plus, went to toilet and changed back to home clothes and walked with valerie hu. reached home, ate dinner. that my day. i hate' be yourself day'!

whatever it is, your things dont concern me anymore. i tired and i wanna rest. everything change during june hols and it wont be the same again. maybe it will be but god knows.

2005-06-29T21:11:00.000+08:00

i saw you last few days and you still the same. been apart for so long and we can still remember each other. that is surprising. if you never suspect something or i took the first move to talk to you, i think this wont happened.

14 days didnt online but 10 days before in grandma online less than 1 minute. how pathetic.
i not in good mood today. something just spoiled my day. dont ask me what. i dont know. i just wanna to be alone quite some times.
rachel asked me out today but i rejected cos i dont feel like going anywhere. because of that, rachel ignored me. so, english lesson, there was a gap between her and me.
biology need presentation about the research assignment. mrs lim couldnt found our assignment and we have to re-do again. irritating.
geography lessons over very fast. 1 and half hour over just like that. ms chew very blur. pointed at sarah but called jocelyn. somemore still said," you are jocelyn right?" irritating.
english, the tables all cramped together. i sat behind with so little space but i fine with that actually. did summary. maylene, rachel and me commuicate through handphone and writing. ms sek didnt really found out but she knew i kana distracted. irritaing.
social studies didnt talked much. did the worksheet that ms yeo gave. she sid that i serious today. irritating.
had prefects investiture. got guys there. the whole school was like 10 years didnt see guys like that. got so excited. valerie spotted one guy has big nose. haha.. funny. observe his nose. the investiture rather boring.
waited for jingting in school. went home cos she suddenly dont feel like going compass. she treated me ice-cream and we board bus together.
mood swing i am maybe.

2005-06-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

i stay at home whole day through. i going to have fever soon as i feel myself buring. just had headache and stress tired. i still have to complete my tution homeworks through. this week i change my tution days to tuesday and friday instead monday and thursday. tomorrow going to school for math. can you believe it?? only us and four benevolence there for lesson. only mr yeo there teaching. rather cold tomorrow. my nails are lemon green now. yesterday applied and i not going to remove off just because of tomorrow math lesson. i dunno where to go after school.
two options: watch 'ghost train' with rachel, maylene and daryl or go valerie tan house to swim. anyway, this week i going to watch with valerie cos she going to malaysia for kayaking. if rachel dont want valerie to go, then i watch 'ghost train' with valerie after tution on friday. that means, i have to change my tution time to morning instead so i have more time to go kaikai. with rachel can let her go, then we all can go together tomorrow. i dunno. rachel havent called me yet. she is in her grandma house. should i watch tomorrow anot??! -vex-

2005-06-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

i been crying since yesterday. dont ask me why. i wont say. you are also not intented to know.
yesterday went for fNn. met rachel, maylene and valerie at the school bustop, 9.30am. that is our usual meeting place. i the last one to reach there. went in and sat outside kitchen one. express girls with us also. none of us felt like going to fNn at all. all reached and complained. haha.. 10am, mrs palani not there. we discussed whether should we stayed and go. then, we decided to wait until 10.30am. if mrs palani havent come, we go. god bless.. time reached and mrs palani not there. we really went. only valerie and sandra cos they scared. we waited outside school and valerie said mrs palani in library. once again, janet, qianyu, rachel, maylene and me discussed whether should we go. final.. we didnt go. all of us except qianyu went compass. valerie and sandra stayed in school. hanged around in compass. one or more hour later, rachel and me went off and met with daryl and hanjie. we went off to somewhere. 6 something, i reached home. ate dinner, watched teevee. that is when i got annoyed by my mum.
went to fNn today again. met valerie, maylene and rachel same place. with them for awhile, we saw daryl at the other side. maylene and rachel pon the fNn but i went cos had practical and i cook with valerie. 10am, mrs palani havent came. janet, valerie, janet and me decided to pon. this time, valerie finally decided to pon with us but sandra still scared, so i dragged her. went compass again. i bought lime green nail polish. janet and valerie bought something also. twelve something reached home. did tution homeworks, ate lunch and i went tution. stayed until 5 plus and home i went.
now parents not at home. only siblings there. i not bored today! :)) i wanna watch 'the red train'. valerie and me wanna watch it someday. :D

2005-06-11T17:08:00.000+08:00

two more days to lessons in school. thursday dont feel like going for math at all. see how first. if the numbers is lesser than i thought, then i dont go. if more, then i go. but usually, our class always the lesser than i thought. yesterday went HPB for spine checkup. steady, no change. crooked seven cm only. still has to go in november for another checkup still. if fine, i no need to go anymore! my mum helped me bought sour plum milktea for me. i loving it.. while doing some words hunting, rachel called me to call daryl, so we three together can talked. they are funny and i cannot concentrated any of the words hunting already. gotten meet them again someday.

my aunt came to our house today. just reached. gotten offline soon so as to play with justin boy. nothing interesting actually.

you know nothing about it.
stop lying to me.

2005-06-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

didnt online everyday nowadays. my mum and dad are nagging whenever i online. my mum is sleeping and my bro just awake. i the only one that didnt sleep. haha.. just changed my frenster profile. jasmine finally email me in frenster! i waited for so long. oh ya.. have to go fridae still. havent reply xavier yet. she sent back to me few days ago but too bad, i didnt online so.. haha.. sorry. tutor is pushing me with works and more works. four homeworks to do and thurday is the deadline. have to rush everything now. i damn fucking hell bored! nowadays keep playing with all the makeup stuffs and nails. haha.. i wanna change layout again cos i sick of this ya. now five- fourtythree, dont have enough time but try larr. dont care anymore. my mum just being funny this morning even though she had a conflict with my sis earlier. laughs my tongue out. haha..

I did not want to face the truth
Can we put down the roles that we've played so many times?
Is this really the final curtain?
The end of the play?
Or will we just dance this dance again and again?
Once again I walk away
There's no turning back this time baby
Once again I walk away
With every step I leave you behind me
Time after time, hello, goodbye
Don't you know it's time for me to go?
Cos you have somebody in your mind
You know that I would rather stay
But now before I turn away
There's one last thing to you I want to say
Baby there's no goodbyes
I don't wanna say words that people say
Can I take you out?
I feel that if I don't ask chance will pass
And I'll never see your face again
Maybe I'm a fool
For saying I'm in love with you
Ever since I saw you standing there
I couldn't get you outta my mind

2005-06-05T14:16:00.000+08:00

back here now.
okie.. yesterday was fun with devil budd, mummy, jeanette, sarah, dawn, ken, nigel, yandao include samuel lahh as it was devil budd birthday!
woke up at seven automactically even though my mum supposed to call me but she didnt. washed and changed after that. mum gave me cash and off i went to meet them at heartland bus stop.
reached there, jeanette, devil budd, dawn, nigel and ken were there waiting. well.. i late five minutes but sarah havent reached yet. devil budd intro one by one to each other. then, we decided to wait for sarah in the station cos devil budd was sweating away!! abnormal her lahh.. in the aircon still can sweat and we didnt. saw xinyi and samuel in there and so... we together waited. finally, sarah came.
met up with some at harbourfront. heard that daryl and nelson coming! wahlau ehh.. met those i dont know nevermind but these two i know. even hols have to see them. went macs and and all of us didnt order anything except nigel who bought mcflurry. devil budd down there kept on asking this and that. haha.. everytime suai by ken too. such a birthday girl yes.
went back mrt to wait for others. then, take shuttle bus to sentosa. we got on the bus except daryl, nelson and other.
went to palawan beach lahh. we were waiting for the guys to strip first but, on the other hand, they waiting for us to strip first. haha.. funny. saw sarah and jeanette with bikini, walking here. then, dont care, we stripped. i stripped when i about to sun-tann.
we played in the water, then headed back to where we sun-tanned. applied sun-tann oil for each others. helped jeanette to applied but dont know why my hand got so much sand, so i applied and her hand was full of sand. haha.. she and me down there laughing. the boys were so lame. buried yandao and ken and took pics of them. haha.. one something, mummy and me went to bath, followed by jeanette and sarah. dawn and devil budd were next. sarah and me went home first cos we didnt knew that they wear like those after that.
reached home, took shirt and skirt, and went to shower again. felt damn nice. sarah called me and we met up in compass outside seven-eleven. that my usual meeting place ya. waited and waited and we went to meet others.
waited in the cityhall for the mrt and suddenly, someone called sarah and wanted us to see whether plaza sing had 'curse' a not. so, we went. ya they have so instead they waiting for us, we waited for them.
while later, went to watch movie. we sat at second row. we kept on screaming whenever something happen. dawn and me stayed so close to each other.
dawn came that thing so me and devil budd rushed to carrefour to buy that thing cos we all dont have. we were like part in the amazing race. run there and here. finally.. we found it! dawn and devil budd went toilet and the rest of us wanted to buy a cake for her instead she buy herself. we chose nutella cake! devil budd was surprised when she met her at second level.
went food court to eat dinner and off we went to istana park for the birthday cake. nigel and devil budd was chasing each other. the cake was delicious but the chocolate melted. haha.. stayed there until eight- fourty and dawn and me went off first. i cant believed dawn normal speed is rather fast. she walked fast of cos i walked fast also. we decided to cross the road but... too many cars! we stucked in the middle! we headed back to the street and we remembered we came up from the stairs. we went down and walked to the ghoby ghaut just below the stairs. she took the red line, i took the purple line. we went separate ways.
while in the train, maybe the volume of my discman was loud, the girl beside me kept on looking but i hack her. that my freedom ya.
came out from the station and saw my mum behind as she bought newspaper and stuffs from compass. i reached home about nine something. i shower again. i shower three a days! haha... that the day for yesterday.

2005-06-03T17:00:00.000+08:00

i dream of you every now and then.
waking up in the middle of the night,
calling out your name.
wonder whether will it come true,
it is just a dream on to me.

i dont know what happen nowdays. everytime in the middle of the night, i wake up suddenly and cant sleep anymore unless i force myself to. my cupboard close, there is no way i will wake up unless the cupboard is open ya. what the hell is me going on??
okie. devil budd birthday tomorrow and i glad that i able to be out of the house. seven days at home seems rather a boring days. online need to hear my mum nag. nevermind larr.. hack care. meet in heartland and eat, go sentosa and after that, watch movie and so on. well.. can keep me occupy the whole day ya. i begged my mum to let me go sentosa and now, i think most likely can. yay.. how great yes??
i bought my wallet already. it is purple in color, cost ten dollars. i prefer other one, all black with light brown word on it. but i bought the other one. heartbreak can. haha.. meet up with you all later-.

2005-06-01T13:15:00.000+08:00

get me addicted
confusions and complications in me
an unthinkable illusion
i can still smile even without you around

memories between you and me
is fading every each day
i can no way to remember
unless i see you again.

somewhere, someday we maybe will meet again
that was what i said last year
but now i losing hope
even though it is only five months now.

i dont even know what i doing nowadays
trying hard to get you away
it seems really rather hard to do.
i denied everything about you
but what makes me down
is all these lies.

i had enough and i dont wanna continue
the more i do, the more i unbearable.
maybe you dont understand
cos you are not me, i am not you
it since last year holiday,
you left me alone and off you went.
what can i expect from you?
maybe i am not good enough for you.

i cope myself at home again. i lack of many things now. those that can occupied my holiday. last few days watched the "crayon boy" and still have somemore to go. i want to buy more of the "crayon boy"! i decided to buy one wallet from compass cost ten dollars. my mum allowed if the wallet can be useful, like can put many stuffs in. yes... later i buying but i lazy to go out ya. haha.. gotten rot at home till week three as i have lessons then. week four rot at home again. i miss hanging out when i at home and i miss home when i in school but also dont wanna go home early. complicated thinking rite?? haha... i dont even know myself, what say you, women? my devil budd birthday coming in three days time. havent ask my mum yet. i decided to go anyway. i shall decide what time i be going later and by tomorrow, i will give the answer. just updated some photos in frenster but not yet in fridae. i get to know this bung, seventeen, study in singapore poly. ok.. havent reply her yet still. nevermind, later will do.

2005-05-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

pity all my friends who take art. they went to school from 9am - 5pm. 8 hours they spend in school! MY GOSH! so long hours and they going back again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. if me, i will be sick of that. haha.. together with thirteen of them in msn chatting box and they damn hell FUNNY! haha.. laughed my butt out alright. kept talking about jayshree and ciyun thingy but of cos it was all FAKE. dont take so seriously people. hahaha..
i found out my wallet spoil just now and i so glad that i going to have a new wallet!! wahahaha.. i have to go and shop for my new wallet soon. YAY!
went tution but you know what?! teacher was not at home. no response from her house. it was a wasted trip but luckily, she not at home cos i dont feel like going at all. haha.. one horror movie, the ghost neighbour, show already and the other horror movie, curse, coming up. my god! i just wanna watch but i dont think i can get out of the house often now. tomorrow maybe accompany my sister go haircut at tampiness but maybe i change my mind not to go. haha.. i have a frickle mind anyway. my brother had 'O' level chinese paper this morning. he lost more than ten marks but he has confident that even though he cant get A1, he can get B3. haha.. nice there yes. i bored. nothing better things to do and i feel like disturbing people. wahaha.. wanna who will be my victim ya.

2005-05-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

hols is here but i not enjoying. such a pathetic hols i have this june. want to hang out but lazy to make plans. i not happy. i just cried. do i have to tell the whole world that i cried?! i dont know but i feel better to split it out rather to burden the feeling inside. whatsmore, i listening to those love songs for nothing. the reason i cried is very simple... i lost the poem for that i wrote last year for jessica! i reflected my feelings in the paper but now.. LOST! i not going to be happy for days i think.
okay.. mum changed my tution day andtime. actually it was sunday, 11- 1pm but now, monday and thursday, between 2.30- 6pm. including school days okay. i decided to go straight to tution after school when the school reopen. i dont care. i dont want to go home early.
i drew three pictures since yesterday. 1 is imaginary drawing, other is look and draw drawing and lastly, is the protrait. i drew aaron carter. nothing to do and whatsmore, i listening to his songs. he so handsome THAT TIME but now, look worse than that. hahahaha.. whatever..

2005-05-24T18:41:00.000+08:00

bless me with all you can, alright? i just need three more marks to pass you know! wasted sia.. hope they will spare me this three marks. please?? i no need to drop fNn! actually, i like fNn. it just that mrs palani stress us up. i pass! i pass! i so glad. i feel upset cos of something. i scared larr.
neither NICOLE OLSEN is not my tadpole mummy anymore nor REBECCA my tadpole daddy. i now throw her inside the trash bag and kick her in the garbage and leave her to rot! she sucks larr. now avoiding her by talking more to valerie tan, nadiah, ciyun and huiting.
sorry maylene and rachel. didnt accompany you all today and i think next few days also. i promise to go with you all everywhere if only that nicole not following. sorry.. sorry.. i damn fucking pissed with her. she a two double headed. wait.. not two double headed, is thousand double headed ok. i hate her that it. i only have xinyi as my mummy and she the only one. no one can replace her position, alright? haha..
spent the whole day in the gym watching movies. it only for sec threes and sec four A, B and C. two movies all cartoon types. first movie very touching and the other watched half way and went back to class because ms sek told us to. actually can watch another half but we decided to stay in class and ms sek approved. so while we in class, other classes in the gym.
i also very happy for one thing. ciyun and huiting not angry with me. i dont want because of that ass nicole to spoil my friendship with this two nice people. i back with them yes.
supposed to be released at 2.10pm but ms sek released us early, 1.40pm. all sec threes NA, only my class released early. D and B saw and they also asked their teacher to release them early but i dunno whether they had anot. haha..
went cp with nadiah, valerie tan and ciyun and saw my friends include nathenel. waved to him didnt waved back one. haha.. how bad. after that, nadiah came my house to do project. she only printed one pathetic paper and she went to surf those junk websites. haha..
should i go stay in my aunty house for one week? i dunno when i be coming back to school lorr. i really feel like staying with my aunty for one week!!

2005-05-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

i bored.. i bored.. i bored.. i going nutcase talking to maylene. haha.. i pop kai already. but i wanna go out lei. i wanna go everywhere. town, bugis, bishan, sentosa, just everywhere!! ok.. i know going mad and all this cause by BOREDOM. that right. i dont like the life now larr.. nothing to do. too slack. i read dictionary nowadays. haha.. but half way through, i give up. all i do is to sit at my desk, looking out and stare into space. haha.. stare until when someone call me then i wake up. i growing fatter.. i gain 10grams. haha.. i dont want the 10grams. my mouth very itchy and i keep on eating non stop from dawn to night. surprise? i shall stop eating during june hols. i bored.. i wanna watch 'monster- in- law' or 'batman' someday soon. one look funny and other look scary. all the horror movies are nc- 16 and i cannot watch! i not yet 16! 1 more year and few months to go and i able to watch!! yay.. weeheee.. english reasearches due tmr and i gotten rush. f&n research, math project and geography research coming up! june hols no better can. have to go back school to do cca banner, researches and i gotten miss my friends who going to beijing! take care people.

i learn to face but fail to put the past behind.. just the two of us throughout last two years.

2005-05-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

SHIT! PTM ON FRIDAY!!! THIS DAY BETTER SLOWLY COME OR ELSE GET LOST! i really hope my common tests marks can pull me up yes cos i did not that good for this exams. JOCELYN LIEW LAY TING!!! STUDY HARD FOR NEXT EXAMS! actions must take place not words. this i must remember or else i not liew lay ting but jocelyn. haha..
today not bad but very tired the whole day. dont ask me why cos i dunno why. understand? better to. bad- temper this few days maybe due to something. you piss me off i really shoot you back. i warn first. haha.. my mum yesterday kana my bad- temper and i talked back at her. she also got wrong but she thinks she forever correct. whatever larr. hack care is the way and shut up people. opps. doing my fNn mindmaps now and i just completed one. 1 more to go! english researches have to be done by tuesday and MS SEK TOMORROW IS NOT COMING TO SCHOOL!! mr ramasamy taking over. haha.. we dont even care him. whether he is there a not, there still no difference when no teacher come. simple, hyperactive!! i find i love my name alot. who dont? i know some people dont cos i even heard my friends said that. although my name is getting common in sjc but who matter. you is you and me is me. i cant even be bother ya. i like him but people think i a bisexual and study in all girls school, more to like girls than guys. i dunno myself too. i tired larr.. sick of this world stuffs. I HATE YOU!

2005-05-17T16:32:00.000+08:00

exams over and of course now is the exciting time as we getting back our papers back. i dont wanna retain... no way i allowed myself to. it is a unforgiven sin to me yes. i scared. if i fail f&n, mrs das will maybe force us to drop so... i plan to take pure literature. i be going to 3d if i do that you know. i hate the life. i hate the combine subjects especially. why?!! i going vex and gonna cry soon. strive hard now larr. force myself even though i not happy to do that. anyway.. my life become sad and sadistic. you cares?!
no post exams programmes. instead, normal lessons. although is normal lessons but it still kinda like no lessons. no teacher came in and teach except checking papers. i carved my name 'JL' on my hand in class. i think it was the first two periods. today didnt slash my arm but used a pen and press deeply and hard. that was thrilling.
recess went with rachel to meet daryl at the back gate. we talked about 1 minute like that and off we went. we walked to the staircase that near the lift. suddenly.. mr fun told the security guards about rachel and me just now at the back gate. TWO SECURITY GUARDS TO WATCH AROUND THE SCHOOL ABOUT OUR UNIFORMS AND BEHAVIORS!! stupid larr.. how can?? i dont want ok. cannot even slack in toilet during lessons now! back to the incident. mr fun said that they going to come towards us if we climbed over the gate but we didnt so they didnt came. then.. rachel said that daryl was my brother?! i was so surprised ok. suddenly said that he my brother. haha..
mrs palani said that i insulted her teachings but the fact is that she insulted our answers! told us her yesterday car accident experience and prison life again just because she spotted maylene arms being carve' i hate you'. she said she gonna report to principal. omg.. they gonna say all those things again! there was a anouncement said that 3c girls had to go back to CT venue and ms yeo waiting for us. we were in f&n preparation and art students in ms teh room. we supposed to go for math but we dont want cos we wanna see how mrs palani marked our papers so that why there was anouncement for us. haha..
after school, went home with girlfriend and since it was raining, we took bus. this year first time took bus home. haha.. saw rachel family with mr fun outside office looking for rachel. i know rachel and maylene went to meet daryl but i told geraldine ho that i dont know where they went. dont care larr..

2005-05-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

she know... she know the reason why we abandon and neglect her behind now. she wondering and wondering but i scared that it will affect her studies. shall we talk about it after exams? with a calm and relax tone. how about that? dont get so worked up after we tell you, ok? yes. she know but it only one of the reason. i dunno how to tell her actually. we scared that we being cruel to her and whether we tell her anot.. there still no difference at all. something have to change depends on you. you cannot asked me whether it can be changed cos i sure wont gave you a straight answer. depends on you is what i can tell you. think about it. i know you keep on wondering even before exams cos you told me but really.. hope you can wonder after exams. glynis said that she will tell her straight and end. that was a advice yes. that all i wanna say to ya. whatever it is.. up to you already.

had geography and f&n today. came to school at 9.. met rachel and maylene and off we went to cp. i supposed to come to school at 11am but we met earlier that why. rachel said that the gang fight held today in cp and you know what?! I MISSED IT!! i wanna see ok but i have geography at 11am. hope there was another round again. haha.. geography paper no confident ya. they gave us a map each and i cant find a place! so i anyhow wrote since there was not much time left. the aircon was so damn bloody hell cold! even i out of the hall, i still felt cold. went canteen and met the f&n girls. sat down and studied. CIYUN WAS SUCH A DISTURBANCE!! haha.. dont be angry... f&n was so difficult and mrs palani still can stood down there joked with us. haha.. it ended at 3.10pm. we were the latest in school there. gave us ideas somemore. IS THIS A EXAM PEOPLE??? haha.. after that, she said," wanna went through the answers together?" janet said," yes." i said," no... dont want.. dont want..." rachel, maylene and me quickly got our bags and rushed out of the room! haha.. WE DONT WANNA HEAR ANYTHING OK! walked home but it was raining. who cares that?! bought snacks homw and i saw polices down there investigated something. looked like a murder case ya.
tml no need to go to school for exams but i have to stay outside and waited for rachel answer for something and helped me give mrs lim bio project. cya glynis there. shyan was funny yes.

2005-05-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

i hate her. i cant believe i let her went in first through the slide gate. i dont want. i cant believe i so nice to her. - hit my head- i stopped.. she stopped but then after that she went in first cos i stood down there waiting for her to go in. i hate it. unbelieveable ya.
i pissed with valerie hu in the morning. talking to her and she very blur. i was like talking to the wall please. i really cant tolerate. dun feel like going to school with her anymore but she want to have accompany. neverless.. i just say to her. dont care her already. I NOT GOING EAST COAST WITH HER ANYMORE TOO! fuck her off yes??
biology test only. try the first question and you know what?! i stuck! but still managed to do it. the structure questions were much more easier than multiple choices. we released earlier than express and rachel, maylene and me stayed in canteen for awhile.
supposed to mugg in studies but didnt. haha.. we joked around instead. completed food order list and gave to mrs palani and she corrected some. the fruits have to buy ourselves!! how can?? so heavy and big ok. it supposed to be corn oil but i wrote as coil corn. haha.. rachel and maylene kept on laughing. rachel.. you also the same ok. dun laugh. haha.. maylene was the less mistakes of all.
went cp and saw cjy and atiqa in captain cook. went in and sat awhile but actually it was not awhile.. it long awhile. haha.. rachel uncle came and fetched her. so sudden.. so only left with maylene and me. i bought a 'yes' earstuds and maylene bought a 'no' earstuds. haha.. one yes one no how nice... we so excited cos we heard jinghui they all coming. if only rachel was there, that will be nice. finally.. saw jinghui and maylene was like frozen. haha.. i felt nothing cos mine didnt came. lucky yes?? haha..
ok.. shall continue mugging but... i have to eat dinner first rite?? my throat is getting better but often coughing. haha.. I GOT A BIG APPETITE NOW!!

2005-05-08T13:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to my grandma house. told myself not to eat anything there cos of my bad throat but it turn out other way round. i felt like eating and went around looking for food. my throat will got itchy at any moment starting from now.. haha.. my aunt said that i look more prettier now. so disgusting. haha.. i left my pencil box there and forgot to bring it back. later have to went back bedok to take it back. how sick can especially this kind of cold whether now, just feel like staying at home.. i love my cousins lots! really love and miss them now!! wanna them to make me laugh again!! let have a gathering soon ya.

no tution today. yesterday begged my mum not to let me go tution and let me study at home. the subjects that tutor teach had already over this week. next week only left biology, f&n, chemistry and geography. yes.. four more days to exams finish and i be free! happy??? haha.. nothing much and i gotten study again. i feel uncomfortable without my pencil box with me but i also too lazy to take it back. haha..

2005-05-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

confusionswithcomplicationswithinme____*

i know what to do after i met you..
hope you know that too..

social studies was easy!!! i managed to complete all of the questions. i bet i gotten pass. i didnt followed ms yeo advice. she told us to do structure questions first but i did sourcebase first. i wrote until more than six lines for every questions cos each question more than 6 marks. my finger gotten have blister after mye. i love social studies lots!
math was the worst of all! i forgot to bring calculator and curve ruler.. so do valerie hu. she so nervous but i can still down there chatting with nicole.
v: you didnt bring you not nervous one arr??
me: nervous for?? use mentally lar.
math i for sure fail cos i dont know how to do math. my math is damn poor also. nvm.. concentrate on other subjects is important too.
i learned my lesson yesterday.. remember to bring sweater!! whenever we did first paper, it is not that cold. still can tahan but when after break, second paper start, i so damn cold can. half doing half trembling. luckily i brought sweater today or else i will be too cold to write.
while we doing, mrs palani went around to tell the f&n girls to stay back after the paper. i didnt stayed back included rachel and maylene. we dont feel like larr. went rm to hang around. in foodcourt, maylene, rachel and me laughed about the hairtail thingy. haha! it rained but rachel and me walked under the rain and we got ourselves drenched.
reached home had lunch. very tired and wanted to sleep for awhile but couldnt slept. online instead. made some changes in my pictures and updated in friendster. after that.. blogging ya. going to change my music again but it is still YELLOWCARD!! haha..
i really cant tolerate valerie hu now. it is like the whole class knows that valerie tan and me dont like her. rachel and maylene dont like also. i just feel piss when i try to talk to her but i didnt show it. sometimes the conversations i show between us are bushuang one. of cos there are reasons why we dont like her. when we together with others talking together, she will talk something that she know but we dont know and we are not interested to know! even if she dunno, she will ask us as sive we know! you know she didnt take chinese and all chinese stuffs didnt concern her at all but she still ask for happen. it is like none of her business! if concern her, i will tell her. she also will have many comments on everything. i remember one sentence she said," my taste is still the best!" you know that different people will have different taste and i tell her lots of time but still she think her taste is perfect. this is the reason why rachel dont want her to go with her to make tattoo cos of her comments. rachel and me try our best not to let her go. that is mean i know but who can tolerate this kind of girl?! it is not that i have narrowheart. it is like i cant stand her anymore! i had enough ok. she just simply spoil my everyday unless she didnt come to school.
i have a bad throat now. feeling real uncomfortable. bio exam next. study again. i so happy! tuesday no need to go to school so early but go cp meet rachel cos she has long hours of break! wednesday no school for me! i free people!!!

2005-05-05T18:42:00.000+08:00

studied half of social studies about sri lanka just now and i really enjoy the chapter alot. next shall be northern ireland!! math i havent study yet.. i for sure cant pass math so i put more effort in social studies then. is not i wont be studying but later after social studies?? yes..
english paper one and two today. sat at basketball court after assembly cos the hall havent ready yet. studied about letter writing formal and report format. went to hall and got seated. paper started! i did the compo about extreme fear and the letter writing although i had nothing to write but at least over the words expectation. one hundred and eighty words!!
break and we kana stayed back five minutes cos of tricia blabber mouth. anyhow said the time about the next paper. we down there laughing sure. i didnt bought drink today cos i scared i spilled it again. so embarrassing ok... but i drank nicole milo.
english paper two was damn fucking difficult especially comprehension! summary was much more easy.. well... i love summary!!
paper end and i took my bag and walked with valerie tan, nicole and nadiah. we went toilet and i suddenly realise that... WE DUMPED VALERIE HU BEHIND!! although we glad that she was not with us but we find we so cruel. it was not purposely.. accidentally ok. we forgot about her. went cp and we went prima deli bought bread. haha.. went there because nadiah wanna bought something but in the end.. it was all the tidbits that we bought.
went home and while later.. it started to rain. rachel called me and we chatted awhile. after we said bye bye.. i continue studying.
online cos of f&n and I HAVENT DO THE FOOD ORDER LIST YET AND OVERALL TIME PLAN!! tmr stayed back after school to do bio research too. I DUN LIKE HER YA!